freeing my mind....learnings in mid-life

Suddenly this loner
confronts the sense of being alone.
So much lost in transition
So little one has chosen to hold.

Bonds that strengthened,
take on hues of binding constraints.
Relationships taken for granted,
now seemingly beyond the pale.

Who am I, what am I,
gets a new found relevance.
Fundamental truths un-addressed,
clinically delivered now with new meaning.

Blind I've been to the turf I trampled
what got caught under-foot
just another's pain...... so conveniently oblivious.
The whys and wherefores now an emotional strait-jacket.

Feel I did then and feel I do now,
but stuff still gets lost in translation.
Never been able to fathom the Hows
or reckon that relationships are more than just milch cows.

The strength that was the sense of aloneness
suddenly is but a dark dank place
a cubicle confine in that strait-jacket
putting one so definitively now beyond the pale.

So what now with all this awareness
does it really change my Whys n Whats n Hows.
Much will continue to be lost in transition
maybe the knowledge will release one..... from yet unspoken vows.