Realising Nothing - the Detachment perspective

Its all for No-thing.
Yet we succumb to temptation and keep seeking.
For the joys of those rare experiences of No-thing,
As though reinforces one's understanding and Knowing.
That clarity builds up a conceptual lens,
that instantly shapes No-thing into something.
And the moment of bliss
stays just that....a moment.
A moment when you think that you've come to know something which was No-thing.
So you seek to know more,
sharpening the conceptual lens even more.
The mind unknowingly focuses on something
that seems like nothingness.
Building a conception and perception
of the intangible No-thing.
And one keeps seeking till one accepts that
Nothing can help you
Realise No-thing...
Shed everything and Know...
Nothing....

And that my friend is what detachment is all about. In the situation yet outside it. Observing and doing only that much in order to keep from doing and to stall judgement calls.

Unmindfull

When the mind minds you,
you are the mind.
When you mind the mind,
the mind is You.
When you let the Mind do the minding.
You are free of the binding of minding.
You cab then Be....unmindfull.

Moms will always tell you how to do it...

Parental concern is boundary-less. It seems to encroach on private spaces which are held taboo, primarily in the friendship space.
You may not like it but remember, that whatever is done is for what is perceived to be in YOUR best interest. Moms will always tell you how to do it, no matter what.
If that embarrasses you, understand, coz she is concerned about saving you from perceived hurt or embarrassment and, doing whats in your best interest, from a Mom's viewpoint.The generation gap exists because theres lack of mutuality on whats best!
e experienced the gen gap too. More stringently. "You wanna keep seeing him then, marry him". We had to tell our share of lies to spend time together. The resultant life is also attributed to not having listened to Ma. Marrying against her wishes. That's the mindset behind the care and concern. Her hindsight steering your life. Understand and accept there's nothing you can do to change the mindset. But once you know, that's the norm and its so much easier to adapt without hassling yourself about the Whys and Wherefores and...keeping your peace.

Expectations-the death knell of relationships

Most relationships tend to get defined by the expectations of behavior ascribed to them. EQ elements like care, concern, sharing etc have behavior templates prescribed, which one seeks or desires as experience. All based on the articulation of someone else's experience, that has become the generic dictionary definition of these terms.
Our expectancies, though individual, are generic and, quite apart from one's own experience frame...both in context and content. Though the essence appears similar and relevant. Take any of one's senses. Feel, sight, sound et al... We understand their meaning generically but.. their true import is realised only from first hand personal experience. Meaning is derived from one's experienced reality.
You now know and once you Know...thats reality. No more expectancy. What we don't experience, for whatever reason, is however evaluated against the generic norm defined...not against what is Known. Foe all purposes an illusion that one chases, till one actually experiences.
By nature, generic templates are static and do not factor in the experiences of the individual or the context. Wish frames are based on this illusion that continually perpetuates a cycle of expectancy, that is the death knell of any healthy relationship..

Paths to Realisation

A response to Raman's message that it is the mano shaaririk yantra (msy)-the mind body mechanism that is the hurdle to Realisation...

Me - The msy is the special purpose vehicle (spv) for realisation. The stages and tenure are designed for acquisition of knowledge through it's basic senses, for the development of the mind and intellect, to lay the foundation for awareness and Realisation. The msy needs the sensory experience to understand duality and become aware of the Mind. The spv that realises this objective becomes realised and, transcends the can and cannot duality.
The purpose of the msy drifts and shifts as per developments and responses in the experiential growth of it's spv. Hence, to each their own basis for choices. One who is ignorant about Realisation, is not likely to seek it. Those who are aware are the ones who set themselves up for the constant churning.
The more they get to know, the greater the frustration...since the meaning from comprehending and understanding doesn't seem to be the Meaning!
The problem seems/is assessed to be the msy and it's sensors....so outgrow it. But the spv was always meant to be shed once it's objective is realised. The problem is not with its sensors but, how we use the knowledge they garner, to shape mind and intellect. If you focus only on the process of acquisition by the senses, knowledge is all about sensations and pandering to basic instincts. One then takes the good with the bad fatalistically. Its Just this, for them.
Those uncomfortable with this, start seeking and based on learning and application, try to stop the drift and shift and put the spv(msy) back on track to meet it's original objective. To keep experiencing in the hope of knowing that true ignorance is really bliss.
There are no behavior templates to guide one's search and so, the churning continues, though qualitatively different. Again, the msy seems to be the problem. And now..., one relies exclusively on intellect and so, stays in the loop.
If one trusts and lets one's senses have a greater say in determining one's comfort level, it is easier to appreciate and accept the realisation that Its just This...and help the msy(spv) grow towards its objective.
Realising parts of the whole is a route to Realising the Whole. There's less churning and takes the can-cannot duality as it comes, using knowledge to remove doubt and foster a state of equanimity which is, an essential foundation for Realisation...All thanks to the msy.
For me....Its Just This.
Raman - Everyone is a Buddha...some have decided not to remember it for a while...just that much is, what it's all about.
Me - Decided??- Informed choice, surrender or ignorance!

Contact

I presume that she has her reasons for not keeping me informed about herself. She's chosen not to keep me informed about her recovery progress. No contact despite knowing that I'm in Delhi. No acknowledgment of 2 best wishes messages. So whateva it is, I can only respect her reasons and not intrude, unless she wants me to. That's why I want her to ask

Project Lotus boosts

You are a success when you have done your level best, and are conscious that you have done your best. Though the world may write you down as a failure.

The only guy you have to get better than is.....Who you are right now.

Success sometimes seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.

And if you don't succeed at first, do it like Mom told you!

All the best for Lotus

Fatherhood

Its much easier to become a father than be one.

Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older, they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

Quotes that struck a chord.....

Best wishes for all you do towards becoming Who you wanna be.

Coping with Shit.

If someone is ungrateful and, you tell him that he's ungrateful....what then! You've called him a name, but nothings changed!

Once you know and accept as truth, there are no more doubts. Once there are no more doubts, there are no questions and hypothetical possibilities that are usually the basis for future plans. "What if the sun doesn't rise tomorrow" is never a scenario we plan for because we know and have accepted that it will. No doubts about that.
If you know and accept that your boss is an arsehole, then there are no doubts that you'll only get shit from him.
Agreed, watching another defecating in public is quite unsettling....But since you know its just this, one gets used to it and it ceases to affect. All the people shitting by the railway tracks. On a train journey, one so easily accepts what one doesn't like. Thats all that watching somebody Shit is all about. Once you know, just accept!
Shit happens. Its part of life. But when you are in sit then there are two options. You can devote your senses to determining the quality of the shit or... focus all your senses on creating the scenario of a long luxurious bath that would wash it all off. That's detachment and a form of sensate focus. I prefer the tangible experience on the latter though!

Why care....Its Just this

Responsibility is usually manifested as a wish frame of things one thinks best for the other. What gets lost sight of is that its the other who has to act. And he or she may have an agenda of their own.
Its so easy to live somebody elses life, especially when you feel responsible for them. Our concern inevitably sees us in the drivers seat of someone elses life.
We get affected by dissonance in the things we care about.
Caring creates attachment, which is primarily sustained by memories. Memories are all in the mind and intangible. If they are intangible, they are not real in the here and now. How then can something that is not real affect you.
The effects arise out of one's non-acceptance that reality is just this....This here and now. The past is but a memory. The future is nothing but plans and wishes. "What if" scenario building is but a Mind activity....intangible.
So Why care!!

Conversations on Life - Afterword

Our Activity framework generally determines our actions and responses that contribute largely to our state of Being. This framework is lattice-like, developed on the construct and intersects of one's frames of Occupation and Domesticity and...their interfaces with society. Self gets defined by the degrees of freedom one has in the spaces of one's lattice. Prime being, the extent of space that accrues to oneself, on one's terms.
The binding constraints are usually embedded in the core constructs of the Occupational and Domestic frames and the intersects one develops over time, against the backdrop of pressure for conformance to societal norms. The latter introduces one to the vagaries of circumstance that can add variables not envisaged.
The playing field then seems to be constantly changing. The premises behind the interfaces that constituted the plan and design of the original construct, designed for stability of the lattice and one's own Space get forgotten. The lattice evolves into a maze as fresh dimensions keep getting pulled in through one's Activity frame.
What is.....in the context of What was, never seems to have been meant to be.
Then again....What is...was always meant to be.

These SMS dialogues led to that realisation....

It took the collapse of the Domestic and Occupational frames, to lay the foundation for that realisation.
As Arun said, "It takes a couple of years out of Society to Realise and then....one comes back and is able to say that..Its so simple.
Nothing has changed yet...Everything has changed.

BOOST

Being Outspoken Overcomes Stifling Thoughts.
Being Overcome Only Suggests Temerity.
Becoming Otherwise Occupied Soothes Temporarily.
Believing Only One Simple Truth.....

Being Oneself Optimises Situational Tolerances.

BOOST...The secrets of my energy..
Yet another Try it opportunity

Space

Who you are is not the Who or What you are thought to be. That's just the view each holds from what they choose to see.Comprehension is biased by their wish frame.....what they hope you'll be, guided by their needs.
We each create and people our own universes. If our spaces intersect, one makes the most of it, or just grin and bear it. If they don't, then so be it. You then arebut an alien i my space. A non-entity.
Focus on i taking care of me wen making your choices on what you see. The comfort in your universe comes from putting I before You once you see. There'll be no alien invasions and interplanetary visitors to your universe then! And what people think of you in their galaxies matters not really!
Space for you....

Hope for the best

If Bay2 wants it badly enough, she'll do whatever it takes....And I think we can grant her the fact that she does know what it takes. If it isn't on her current list of priorities, then our wishing that it should be, in her best interests, is not really gonna make much difference. She must want it.
Moral: Ain't much we can do, but hope for the best.

Thoughts on Independence

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Man is free the moment he wishes to be.

Its Just this

Mera astitva kya hain.
Kya kissi pe nirbhar hain.
Kya mere angineeth ichhaye kafi hain
Ek mukaamhasil karne may.

Kya yeh zindagi,
aise hi betuke sawaalon may beet jayegi....aur
Meinraah dundta rehjayoonga.

Jo hai so hain.
Bas yeh hi ek atal sach hai.

Samjho aur jaano...
Its just this!...Bas.

Peace of mind

I think I can or, I think this may or will happen remain as a wish frame, with the possibilities of outcomes, refreshing the frame of doubts.
You can KNOW only when you let yourself experience. Experiencing is the knowledge. Whatever the outcome, Good, Bad or Ugly, you now Know what you can or can't do....And the whole doubting frame disappears.....Peace.

Grant me the serenity and grace to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things that I should.
And the wisdom to know the difference.

When I do...life's cool.

Impulse check!

Impulse check.....So what should one do now...Lets check out the options:
- cut my nails
- make and have a cup of kaapi
-edit "Conversations on Life" blog entries - to a book maybe?

Just do all...

The present

Just another hour of a day.
No fairy tale bewitching.
Just another moment lived.
Nothing worth remembering.
Just an ordinary day
that can claim to be....
the present of our lives!

Flights of fancy

You transport yourself to whitewater,
to escape the tides of mid-week banter
Aah.. Mindscapes holding promise
Built on a simple premise,
That if you think it....you can know it.
For our best perceived imagery,
Oft has it's roots in what we
perceive to be drudgery.

Moral: Bore yourself and experience not death but.....urges that take you on flights of fancy.

Free your mind

The body in torment is just a reflection of the state of your spirit.....your soul within. Make peace with yourself. Acknowledge what you can and cant do and... What you feel Can and Cant be done unto you and...start living as You. Not what others wish you to be.
And you'll then realise what its like to free your mind and let your spirit soar...
Another Try it item!

Illusion n Reality

A Jap poet once dreamt that he was a butterfly. And when he woke up, he wondered if he was now a butterfly dreaming it was a poet....

Can apply to aches and pains too.

That's me!

I guess I can claim to have lived life on my own terms. All the experiences that add up to it have left me ensconed in a comfort zone that always had me doing what I felt like. The world saw me as arrogant, stupid, a pain in the butt, a philanderer..amongst many other negatives. No regrets because life was..and still is..in the here and now.
Try it.

Tales of Sweety

Theres this lady I know called Sweety,
Rarely inclined to flights of fancy.
Oft she forgets then frets,
creating wholesome regrets,
N Sweety's then bitter n empty!

A moment

A cloudy noon..
The kind that croons a mellowness or..
invites choice epithets.
The perspectives of a state of mind.

A gentle breeze
Wafts over one.
Oh what a sensuous feel.

Ehsaas

Mann....ek zariya ehsaas ki paribhasha ko samajne kay liye.
Mann.....anek ichaye jinke paribhasha kabhi kabhi samaj kay paray lagti hain.
Ehsaas..... Bas, icchha purti!

The Whole Truth

We give of ourselves in the same measure as we perceive and experience to have received from others. Our inhibitions, apprehensions and desires are all rooted in this domain of give and take.
If one has felt denied, yhe responses can either be wariness of overt expression, where intent is always seen suspect OR, expansiveness, as a posture to cover the void felt.

A desired comfort zone is shaped by the give and take experiences and the intent perceived and attributed to them. Perception is based on our truths, which aren't always the whole truth!
The Whole truth becomes clear when you let yourself experience, without trying to control the experience in an attempt to guide it to a perceived ideal. What is meant to be...will be. What will be...was meant to be. And that is the Whole Truth.
To Be, he mind must shed what it thinks it knows and experience afresh, to know what was unknown.

Tu ab guru ban he ja.
Waise jo kaha, bahut sahi kaha. Lu

Just living a realisation.... And sharing one's learning. Ab uske liye toh kuch banney ki zaroorat toh nahin hain.
Seekhna...iccha anusar.....

A Plea

In the occupation that is life, unintended moments do intrude.
Most just vaporise under the glare of conscious thought. Some though, may touch a chord...Maybe even beg a response?

A moment

Communion comes so easy when thoughts play out in your mind. The memory of a moment, talks about all it held.
Takes a while till you realise that...here and now is there.

A high

A week. 3 floors above ground. Touched mother Earth twice in that span. First for 5 hours and then for 15 minutes, the last 5 days back. Lost to the world.
But opinions of my postures rattle...