Arun - BE MORE & MORE SILENT, WHENEVER YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY. JUST SIT SILENTLY DOING NOTHING. NOT EVEN MEDITATION. JUST SIT SILENTLY FOR NO PURPOSE FOR NO REASON. SLOWLY, SLOWLY SILENCE GROWS. IT BECOMES AN OVERWHELMING EXPERIENCE. AND WHEN SILENCE HAS PERMEATED YOU THROUGH & THROUGH, YOU WILL KNOW WHO YOU ARE & YOU WILL KNOW WHAT THIS LIFE IS ALL ABOUT. IN KNOWING IT, ONE KNOWS GOD.......OSHO
Me - Will knowing yourself change who you are? Can stilling the senses, a cloak of silence change what those senses contributed to creating? Will understanding why it is change anything?
Arun - I think it should change our attitude towards life, I reallydon't know, as, I'm not yet there, but, I really want to know myself.
Me - Attitude towards life is the key. How one desires to interpret, interact and ones capacity to react to/in all the motions called living. Ones needs and objectives define that, and they vary.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
The futility of Rapproachment
I suggest you vent your frustrations elsewhere in future. If you can't appreciate the context and perspective of conversations and start out on personal slanging as the only basis for emphasing a point, then its sad.
Your report has been mailed.
I don't think we'll ever bury the past. Its best we don't stay in touch. No name calling then.
Staying in touch a big mistake. My life will get better from this moment. You are the biggest hypocrite ever. Thanks for the last deed.
Your report has been mailed.
I don't think we'll ever bury the past. Its best we don't stay in touch. No name calling then.
Staying in touch a big mistake. My life will get better from this moment. You are the biggest hypocrite ever. Thanks for the last deed.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
A birthday wish
Moments are the essence of life.
Seize em, and live the Thoughts that make em.
Let em slip away,
and you find yourself
wishing you'd done more,
to spice up days like today.
Happy Birthday.
U GIFTED A HUGE SMILE TO MY FACE. CERTAINLY TRY TO KEEP THAT IN MIND.
LUV U LUV
Seize em, and live the Thoughts that make em.
Let em slip away,
and you find yourself
wishing you'd done more,
to spice up days like today.
Happy Birthday.
U GIFTED A HUGE SMILE TO MY FACE. CERTAINLY TRY TO KEEP THAT IN MIND.
LUV U LUV
Sunday, November 15, 2009
What is...was meant to be.
Conversation, on a personal level, even in close relationships, is difficult. "Say something" and there's nothing to share. An uncomfortable silence that brings sharply into focus inadequacies of being, on the emotional front. Even the riposte question inquiring about some facet of the others well being is just an attempt to salvage an awkward moment and not out of any felt need to know. An awareness of this insensitivity doesn't lead to understanding of how to generate feeling and memory from the life ones known.
How can life not have touched one and resulted in no residual feeling, just still snapshots of some moments, empty of felt experience. Why? When I know that I lived and felt then, very often with an intensity I then believed to be a passion for truth and a strong dislike for hypocrisy. Where has all that energy gone? Was it just manic energy? My brain chems ruling me?
Who and what I am seems configured more by my aberrant moments that skew my persona and make it difficult to get a fix on my base nature and abilities. The resultant me though is there for me to know and see. Uncaring, unfeeling, a persona best described as dull and boring. A capacity to do nothing for years on end and feel nothing, no guilt or shame or trigger an urge to change what is. An awareness that creates only the knowledge that perhaps What is....was meant to be. There seems to be no other explanation. Is it just Reaping as one has sown, albeit much of it no longer in memory.
One is constantly waiting for something within one to awaken. A need, desire, feeling, some energy that would spur one into action. ...Nothing stirs. Why? Its difficult to make oneself want to, when there is no felt need, no driver. One must FEEL like doing something. How does one make that feeling happen? How does one create purpose, without felt need?
How can life not have touched one and resulted in no residual feeling, just still snapshots of some moments, empty of felt experience. Why? When I know that I lived and felt then, very often with an intensity I then believed to be a passion for truth and a strong dislike for hypocrisy. Where has all that energy gone? Was it just manic energy? My brain chems ruling me?
Who and what I am seems configured more by my aberrant moments that skew my persona and make it difficult to get a fix on my base nature and abilities. The resultant me though is there for me to know and see. Uncaring, unfeeling, a persona best described as dull and boring. A capacity to do nothing for years on end and feel nothing, no guilt or shame or trigger an urge to change what is. An awareness that creates only the knowledge that perhaps What is....was meant to be. There seems to be no other explanation. Is it just Reaping as one has sown, albeit much of it no longer in memory.
One is constantly waiting for something within one to awaken. A need, desire, feeling, some energy that would spur one into action. ...Nothing stirs. Why? Its difficult to make oneself want to, when there is no felt need, no driver. One must FEEL like doing something. How does one make that feeling happen? How does one create purpose, without felt need?
Friday, November 13, 2009
Choices
We don't get many chances at making something of our lives. Too often we don't even realise or recognise that we need to, thanx to the comfort zones we create for ourselves. Here, the world is known, safe, peopled by like minded souls and activity is on our terms, giving it shared meaning.
We adjust and adapt to the real world from this cocoon. The realities of the real world oft forgotten or just ignored. Dwelling in the known, with a support system that's our very own, is comforting. Ones thoughts get conditioned to perpetuating this space and the choices one makes are dictated by the sense of feel good, very often overlooking opportunities that a future beyond the here and now would necessitate. Life is what you decide is happening and tomorrow is another day.
Living for now, in the present, is an evergreen mantra. But your present was your future once and will be your past tomorrow. The choices you make in creating what is in the here and now, will define what will be, your future.
None of us really wish to grow up. If only time could stand still at this age of our lives. Discovering ourselves, savouring the fruits of freedom and enjoying taking the decisions and the responsibility for one's own life. Living the meaning of doing your own thing. The college years are truly the best and what most of us wish to be the longest years of our lives.They are also integral to making you who you are and will be and what you will become.
This time, moulds you for the place you seek to create in the real world. If you let the safety of your cocoon keep you unaware of of the rules of the game and the attributes of the players on the outside, adjustment and adaptation becomes selective. You must equip yourself for handling people and situations unknown. One's circle of friends can be the biggest strength as also the greatest drawback to that.Bonds should strengthen not tie one down. Relationships have an uncanny knack of doing both. And they are the basis of comfort zones. And that's where an understanding of space becomes vital. The space to do your own thing and not just conform to common accepted visions about life that usually bring people together. At the end of the day, we are all individualistic and it always will be to each their own. It is only a matter of the choices one makes and the basis for those choices.
The responses to friends, situations, choices must be determined by who and where you want to be in the real world, when the real and total responsibilities of your life are on your shoulders. Where you seek to actualise the dreams you had for yourself and make sure they are achievable and not just sacrificed to experience a few years of feel good moments, that do at this time feel like the best time of your life. But move on you must into the real world.
Let this period be remembered for the good times, strength and people who supported you and gave you the courage to achieve rather than have to reflect back on it saying "If only I knew then what I know know" That stems only from the knowledge of who you want to be. If you don't have an idea about that by now, then its likely that's how it will be. We don't get many chances at making something of our lives.
We adjust and adapt to the real world from this cocoon. The realities of the real world oft forgotten or just ignored. Dwelling in the known, with a support system that's our very own, is comforting. Ones thoughts get conditioned to perpetuating this space and the choices one makes are dictated by the sense of feel good, very often overlooking opportunities that a future beyond the here and now would necessitate. Life is what you decide is happening and tomorrow is another day.
Living for now, in the present, is an evergreen mantra. But your present was your future once and will be your past tomorrow. The choices you make in creating what is in the here and now, will define what will be, your future.
None of us really wish to grow up. If only time could stand still at this age of our lives. Discovering ourselves, savouring the fruits of freedom and enjoying taking the decisions and the responsibility for one's own life. Living the meaning of doing your own thing. The college years are truly the best and what most of us wish to be the longest years of our lives.They are also integral to making you who you are and will be and what you will become.
This time, moulds you for the place you seek to create in the real world. If you let the safety of your cocoon keep you unaware of of the rules of the game and the attributes of the players on the outside, adjustment and adaptation becomes selective. You must equip yourself for handling people and situations unknown. One's circle of friends can be the biggest strength as also the greatest drawback to that.Bonds should strengthen not tie one down. Relationships have an uncanny knack of doing both. And they are the basis of comfort zones. And that's where an understanding of space becomes vital. The space to do your own thing and not just conform to common accepted visions about life that usually bring people together. At the end of the day, we are all individualistic and it always will be to each their own. It is only a matter of the choices one makes and the basis for those choices.
The responses to friends, situations, choices must be determined by who and where you want to be in the real world, when the real and total responsibilities of your life are on your shoulders. Where you seek to actualise the dreams you had for yourself and make sure they are achievable and not just sacrificed to experience a few years of feel good moments, that do at this time feel like the best time of your life. But move on you must into the real world.
Let this period be remembered for the good times, strength and people who supported you and gave you the courage to achieve rather than have to reflect back on it saying "If only I knew then what I know know" That stems only from the knowledge of who you want to be. If you don't have an idea about that by now, then its likely that's how it will be. We don't get many chances at making something of our lives.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Observation
Arun - Is it possible to simply observe something without evaluating it?
Me - Yes. Observation is an acceptance of what is as the way it is. Evaluation is when you try to understand why it is the way it is. If one doesn't feel a need to understand, one is just an observer. If one has a propensity to know and understand, evaluation is online with observation.
Subjectivity is when evaluation clouds observation. Objectivity is the considered "neutral" opinion after observation and evaluation.
Just observation is possible when a superficial sensory recording triggers no thought or feeling.
Just observation without evaluation is true objectivity.
Arun - But is it possible? Don't we attach an adjective to everything we observe? Can one see something and yet not think about it? Give example.
Me - Observing is describing something by recall from the record of learnt information stored as factual memory. Just syntax. One attaches adjectives when cognition and evaluation start. You see strangers, new sights every day. First observation is only a record of the factual descriptive features. Adjectives start when interest is aroused and thought and feeling come into play.
Me - Yes. Observation is an acceptance of what is as the way it is. Evaluation is when you try to understand why it is the way it is. If one doesn't feel a need to understand, one is just an observer. If one has a propensity to know and understand, evaluation is online with observation.
Subjectivity is when evaluation clouds observation. Objectivity is the considered "neutral" opinion after observation and evaluation.
Just observation is possible when a superficial sensory recording triggers no thought or feeling.
Just observation without evaluation is true objectivity.
Arun - But is it possible? Don't we attach an adjective to everything we observe? Can one see something and yet not think about it? Give example.
Me - Observing is describing something by recall from the record of learnt information stored as factual memory. Just syntax. One attaches adjectives when cognition and evaluation start. You see strangers, new sights every day. First observation is only a record of the factual descriptive features. Adjectives start when interest is aroused and thought and feeling come into play.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Be who you are...
If the perceived intent of others guides ones thoughts, then one is letting ones will and self image become subservient to anothers actions. When you know who you are and what you are capable of, you define and adapt to your environment and not have others dictate or affect the postures you adopt. You are what and who you are. Don't let the world forget that.... And you either.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
What is....
There is a life worthy of recall,
but no memories to relive it.
No thoughts triggered,
by experiences in the present.
All those moments growing up,
now lost to oblivion.
Relationships forged, stand hollow without feeling.
No memories upon which
to reclaim a life now wasting.
Intensities I once know I felt
have evaporated without a trace.
I wonder how and why I've evolved to this state.
No thoughts, no feelings......
just an empty sensory shell.
The only explanations I have
centre on my genes and my bipolar self and
a lifetime of neglect in attempting to understand oneself.
The lack of an emotional frame
had a grounding in my upbringing.
About the absence of memories, I have no bearings.
Was feeling all through life
just superficial and sensory.
Here and now moments,
that despite felt intensity,
just never got etched in memory.
The emotional impact, all too transitory.
Explanations there must be
about the contributions to this state of being.
Remedies, barring lithium and anti-deps,
continue to elude ones thinking.
Is it only the brain chems?
Or was it in the genes?
Or was there more to the flaws,
something ingrained in the psyche?
What one did and became,
reflected in aberrant personality.
The experiences of life
have been robbed from memory.
Only half-baked hypotheses
as diagnosis for this callous eventuality.
The bottom line,
What is ... was meant to be.
Not fate or destiny but
the consequences of how this life was lived.
Why?...Well that hasn't unraveled fully still.
but no memories to relive it.
No thoughts triggered,
by experiences in the present.
All those moments growing up,
now lost to oblivion.
Relationships forged, stand hollow without feeling.
No memories upon which
to reclaim a life now wasting.
Intensities I once know I felt
have evaporated without a trace.
I wonder how and why I've evolved to this state.
No thoughts, no feelings......
just an empty sensory shell.
The only explanations I have
centre on my genes and my bipolar self and
a lifetime of neglect in attempting to understand oneself.
The lack of an emotional frame
had a grounding in my upbringing.
About the absence of memories, I have no bearings.
Was feeling all through life
just superficial and sensory.
Here and now moments,
that despite felt intensity,
just never got etched in memory.
The emotional impact, all too transitory.
Explanations there must be
about the contributions to this state of being.
Remedies, barring lithium and anti-deps,
continue to elude ones thinking.
Is it only the brain chems?
Or was it in the genes?
Or was there more to the flaws,
something ingrained in the psyche?
What one did and became,
reflected in aberrant personality.
The experiences of life
have been robbed from memory.
Only half-baked hypotheses
as diagnosis for this callous eventuality.
The bottom line,
What is ... was meant to be.
Not fate or destiny but
the consequences of how this life was lived.
Why?...Well that hasn't unraveled fully still.
A birthday wish
The years to date have made you what you are.
Here's wishing that's who you want to be.
May the years ahead perpetuate that sense of being
and see your wish frame fulffilled.
Happy Birthday.
Thanx hun, u make it very tough 2 luv u & not 2 too..
Here's wishing that's who you want to be.
May the years ahead perpetuate that sense of being
and see your wish frame fulffilled.
Happy Birthday.
Thanx hun, u make it very tough 2 luv u & not 2 too..
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Its just this...
'Twas coping with the here and now that resulted in what is.
'Twas meant to be.
Its coping with the here and now that will define what will be.
Bottom line - For what?
Its just this....
'Twas meant to be.
Its coping with the here and now that will define what will be.
Bottom line - For what?
Its just this....
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Learning how to feel
Me - Both sides of the Nature vs Nurture debate are clear about the what and why basis of personality. Prescriptions are basically maintenance strategies. There are few remedial learning options. Can one learn how to feel, attain the acceptable level of emotional response associated with generic felling - this is a real issue for me.
Arun - You can only learn, that would provoke thought, but whether you can put energy into it to make it an emotional response depends on your intensity of learning.Me - Intensity of learning and ability to put energy into thought....Elaborate.
Arun - The more effort you put in learning, more thought provoking it is. More of thought means more of thinker. The more you are, the more you feel.
Me - The issue is how to provoke thought. How to create interest. Effort needs a stimulus. Proactivity on all these fronts doesn't come naturally. Awareness of this exists but action?
Arun - There must be something which you always wanted to do, but couldn't. It may appear very trivial and foolish now. Start from there--may put you in a different frame of mind and bring back some enthu. Sit back and think what was your passion, and don't tell me there was none, coz thats impossible. Do it now!
Me - The stuff that I want to do seems to stem from what I wanna be. Gregarious, lively, curious, inquisitive. I don't have deep desires, unfulfilled wants, ambitions. Maybe a thought to be a caring, feeling, passionate about things person. I'd need to be somebody else!
I really dunno. Do it now you say. Nothing really comes to mind. Memories either.
Arun - First you have to come out of your cocoon and meet people.
Me - Conversation openers need to be "sense" triggered. Wanting to know - care and concern, curiosity. Wanting to share - the emotions you feel. If the emotional frame is dormant you are just a mute observer, reacting to what you're hearing. When there is no spontaneous thought articulated, you try to create some interest, but even that is linked to need, which is also rooted in emotion.
Interaction becomes forced and threatening. The approach more towards seeking acceptance and a dependency on inclusion. The chances of clicking, slim.
Arun - You can't start thinking with a conclusion. It becomes a dead end.
Me - Conclusions are based on reflection and learning from experience. New thought requires new experience and new motivation. When the latter is innate, it helps. Importing it is the prob.
Arun - You can only learn, that would provoke thought, but whether you can put energy into it to make it an emotional response depends on your intensity of learning.Me - Intensity of learning and ability to put energy into thought....Elaborate.
Arun - The more effort you put in learning, more thought provoking it is. More of thought means more of thinker. The more you are, the more you feel.
Me - The issue is how to provoke thought. How to create interest. Effort needs a stimulus. Proactivity on all these fronts doesn't come naturally. Awareness of this exists but action?
Arun - There must be something which you always wanted to do, but couldn't. It may appear very trivial and foolish now. Start from there--may put you in a different frame of mind and bring back some enthu. Sit back and think what was your passion, and don't tell me there was none, coz thats impossible. Do it now!
Me - The stuff that I want to do seems to stem from what I wanna be. Gregarious, lively, curious, inquisitive. I don't have deep desires, unfulfilled wants, ambitions. Maybe a thought to be a caring, feeling, passionate about things person. I'd need to be somebody else!
I really dunno. Do it now you say. Nothing really comes to mind. Memories either.
Arun - First you have to come out of your cocoon and meet people.
Me - Conversation openers need to be "sense" triggered. Wanting to know - care and concern, curiosity. Wanting to share - the emotions you feel. If the emotional frame is dormant you are just a mute observer, reacting to what you're hearing. When there is no spontaneous thought articulated, you try to create some interest, but even that is linked to need, which is also rooted in emotion.
Interaction becomes forced and threatening. The approach more towards seeking acceptance and a dependency on inclusion. The chances of clicking, slim.
Arun - You can't start thinking with a conclusion. It becomes a dead end.
Me - Conclusions are based on reflection and learning from experience. New thought requires new experience and new motivation. When the latter is innate, it helps. Importing it is the prob.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Emptiness
If there are no moorings, you have no bearings.
Values, belief, purpose have fickle grounding.
Knowledge and experience are no compass to life.
They tend to be but impressions formed
adrift on journeys without direction.
And now,
Thought needs to be called up and
emotion rarely rings a bell.
Superficial solitude.
The protective husk of an empty shell.
Values, belief, purpose have fickle grounding.
Knowledge and experience are no compass to life.
They tend to be but impressions formed
adrift on journeys without direction.
And now,
Thought needs to be called up and
emotion rarely rings a bell.
Superficial solitude.
The protective husk of an empty shell.
Feeling
Me - What is feeling? What contributes to a state of mind? Overtly its the brain chems. Seemingly guided in large part by heredity and genetics. Do we inherit a framework or capacity for feeling. Are brain chems, and therefrom feelings, gene pool dependent?
Arun - What is feeling?.....its an emotional response to a situation. The difference between simple thought and feeling is that its loaded with energy, which could be either -ve or +ve.
What contributes to a state of mind?.....Your thoughts determine your state of mind. More later
Me - An emotional framework must have a basis. The foundation for which lays the propensity for thought too. If the emotional frame seems dormant, there's a glitch in thought and feeling.
What is emotion? Thought triggered energy manifested as feeling.Sensory feeling is an instinctive response triggering reflexive thought, part of the survival and basic instinct framework - the foundation of thought and emotions? The quality of energy triggered, +ve or -ve draws on the nature of instincts aroused in a situation.Instincts could programme thought responses, both innate and developed through life's experiences.Ones quality of sensory experiences determine the instinctive, and therefrom, the thought and emotional responses.
In this scenario, the sensory experience is the basis for thought.A Maslow like hierarchy could be applicable to the emotional framework too, vis-a-vis instinct and thought development.
Arun - Feelings by themselves are not gene pool dependent, but yes, the thoughts that arouse a feeling are surely affected by parental conditioning and peer group.
Me - Aren't thoughts brain chem dependent and thus gene pool dependent, with moderation from parental and peer influences?
Arun - No I think its the other way round. Your thoughts stimulate a particular brain chem.
Me - But the primary capacity or framework is inherited. We build on innate abilities that both, unleash and limit our potential. The LCM is the construct of elements of this framework. And the Highest Common Factor would be particular genomic combinations that define why we are the way we are!
Arun - Well, I don't give such high marks to genetic influence.
Me - So whats your take on it then?
Arun - I guess milieu exterior is more important than milieu interior.
Me - Adaptation to environment is the first need. Its a skill learnt not by trial and error but built on innate sense and sensibility. This core learning ability both guides as well as moulds you as you adapt. But your responses are primarily guided by the innate ability. Experience may overshadow it with time.Maybe that's why there are dilemmas in the real world.
Arun - I feel ones responses are guided by what one has learnt and by ones acquired abilities and not innate.
Me - Why then are learning and skill acquisition differential abilities.Whats the basis. And why are family traits discernible?
Arun - An apple is an apple because of its genes (milieu interior). How juicy it will be depends on the ground its planted on, and how much the planter takes care of it (milieu exterior)
Me - How much do you think the value addition to its core genus comes from the exterior milieu? Its recognised primarily for what it is. An apple and not a juicy apple.
Arun - Can you have an apple orchard in kerala
Me - Can a keralite be a marwari!
Arun - I dunno about that but some of them have become delhiites!
Me - But are still called mallus. It all in the genes bro!
Arun - What is feeling?.....its an emotional response to a situation. The difference between simple thought and feeling is that its loaded with energy, which could be either -ve or +ve.
What contributes to a state of mind?.....Your thoughts determine your state of mind. More later
Me - An emotional framework must have a basis. The foundation for which lays the propensity for thought too. If the emotional frame seems dormant, there's a glitch in thought and feeling.
What is emotion? Thought triggered energy manifested as feeling.Sensory feeling is an instinctive response triggering reflexive thought, part of the survival and basic instinct framework - the foundation of thought and emotions? The quality of energy triggered, +ve or -ve draws on the nature of instincts aroused in a situation.Instincts could programme thought responses, both innate and developed through life's experiences.Ones quality of sensory experiences determine the instinctive, and therefrom, the thought and emotional responses.
In this scenario, the sensory experience is the basis for thought.A Maslow like hierarchy could be applicable to the emotional framework too, vis-a-vis instinct and thought development.
Arun - Feelings by themselves are not gene pool dependent, but yes, the thoughts that arouse a feeling are surely affected by parental conditioning and peer group.
Me - Aren't thoughts brain chem dependent and thus gene pool dependent, with moderation from parental and peer influences?
Arun - No I think its the other way round. Your thoughts stimulate a particular brain chem.
Me - But the primary capacity or framework is inherited. We build on innate abilities that both, unleash and limit our potential. The LCM is the construct of elements of this framework. And the Highest Common Factor would be particular genomic combinations that define why we are the way we are!
Arun - Well, I don't give such high marks to genetic influence.
Me - So whats your take on it then?
Arun - I guess milieu exterior is more important than milieu interior.
Me - Adaptation to environment is the first need. Its a skill learnt not by trial and error but built on innate sense and sensibility. This core learning ability both guides as well as moulds you as you adapt. But your responses are primarily guided by the innate ability. Experience may overshadow it with time.Maybe that's why there are dilemmas in the real world.
Arun - I feel ones responses are guided by what one has learnt and by ones acquired abilities and not innate.
Me - Why then are learning and skill acquisition differential abilities.Whats the basis. And why are family traits discernible?
Arun - An apple is an apple because of its genes (milieu interior). How juicy it will be depends on the ground its planted on, and how much the planter takes care of it (milieu exterior)
Me - How much do you think the value addition to its core genus comes from the exterior milieu? Its recognised primarily for what it is. An apple and not a juicy apple.
Arun - Can you have an apple orchard in kerala
Me - Can a keralite be a marwari!
Arun - I dunno about that but some of them have become delhiites!
Me - But are still called mallus. It all in the genes bro!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Irritability
All of us are basically self-centric. Irritation sets in when elements of this self-centric perspective are not understood by our world. ...How can it be when everyone elses perspective is largely self centred...... That's why hindsight.
Its just this...
Who we are is about the choices we make.
That's why what is, was meant to be.
Choose to do what you wanna do,
then what will be,
will be what is meant to be,
not what should be.
Its just this....
That's why what is, was meant to be.
Choose to do what you wanna do,
then what will be,
will be what is meant to be,
not what should be.
Its just this....
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