Happiness

Arun - There is nothing called happiness - there are onlyhappy moments, alternating with unhappy moments. A person who understands this duality of life, doesnt suffer during those unhappy moments also. he knows that the unhappy moments have to make way for the next happy moment. The problem arises when, rather than enjoying the happy moment, we try to find ways of prolonging that pleasure, hoping it would never end, or, we try to find means of recreating that same situation when we felt happy, while we must understand that no two moments can have the same quality. as they say: You cannot bathe in the same river twice.

A conversation triggered by Jha's b'day....

Me -Jha's b'day today. Got a very flat response to a birthday greet.Asked why, he says I'm in Delhi. Uncharacteristically officious on the line. See if he's having a happy b'day.
Arun -Short But Means a Lot:
"The minute you think of giving up any relation, think of all the reasons why you held it for so long"...Good morning.
Me -Its not about giving up but, unobtrusively, being there. The absence of presence makes for fewer additions and give aways in the here and now. Just being...not trying to become....Familiar!
Arun -If you can last two months there, you can last a lifetime. Try it, theres no point living the life of a recluse anyway.
Me - Acceptance, Understanding, consensus,appreciation, mutuality of perspective, approval - some of the triggers that determine the longevity of relationships. These are the basis that one hopes for in a blood relationship. Trying to achieve them is a felyt need. Takes two to tango though. And a couple of months to learn tyhe steps and see if we are comfy dancing together. Thats all one is trying.
The marriage is beyond salvage.My daughter, dunno? If one succeeds, ones presence in absence will be felt with warmth. If not. one was absent anyway.
Knowledge that will make life on my island easier. You may not see much point in a reclusive life. But is there a point to anything! Just as the only answer is that there never will be an answer. Its about not letting questions surface that disrupt equanimity. And livin like a recluse helps create a comfy cocoon of manageable boundaries, sans intrusions. Life is on ones own terms. What you see is what you get. Take it or leave it. The realisation and acceptance of ones ordinariness is a sound basis for islanding. It keeps one off the paths that lend to pursuit of ideal or optimal states and the chimera of perfection.
Nothing really matters. Its each moment at a time.
All eej well.

Happiness

Arun - Why is one unhappy? One is unhappy because almost everything one thinks - and almost everything one does - is for oneself. And truly there is no one - or another.
Me - Since there is no one or another, its best to think and do for the familiar entity, namely oneself.Thats the only one whom one has control over. And hope the others realise that.
Happiness is more an absence of -ves or at best, sensory situational highs. Equanimity, I guess, is about the best that an unrealised one can hope to achieve as happiness.
Arun - If you can achieve Equanimity, there is nothing more left in life to achieve - its the ultimate thing.
Me -I'm talking equanimity in the literal sense. Calm, even tempered, composed. The absence of an emotional framework that agitates, helps. The absence of proactivity too.

Perfection

Arun -Perfection is attained, not when there is nothing more to be added, but when there is nothing more to be taken away........(A French saying)

No thinking, No Mind

Arun -No thinking, No Mind. No Mind, No problem.
Me -So absofuckinglutely right! The way we see the problem is the problem.

22.5.10
Arun - Seek the Source of the phenomenon; The Noumenon
Me -The first time you introduced me to that term, I thought it was a play on my name..... Now Menon.Seems its more than that though???
Arun - It is the Unmanifest Pure Subject; the TAO; the God; the underlying Subsatance; the Potential Plenum; etc etc - Look on the internet.

Rekha - I always try to build a better bond....doesn't work well each time I guess.....I respect your choice.
Me - Choices are individual. They need to be understood first and then accepted or disagreed with. Respecting choice is nothing but a fait accompli...A status quo position. I appreciate your mind set, but that's who you are. My world view is very different and I am coming to realise that attempts at mutuality only grate because of basic divergence.
All that means is we accept who we are and build on the broad brush commonalities. Its the vertical slices exploring belief systems that cause jarring. So just avoid those.

While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions. You can't talk your way out of what you've behaved yourself into.
Be wary in the Good Times. TC.

We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or should be.And our attitudes and behaviors grow out of these assumptions.
The way we see the problem is the problem.

Chasing shadows.

Arun - We are objects trying to seek the Subject, that's the joke! It's like a shadow trying to catch it's substance.
Me - The context of their usage and the perspective in/from which the context is experienced, give words many shades of meaning. Words articulate a subjective perception of experience, centred on X, Y or Zee knowledge domain. The choice of words to share perception draw from universal vocabulary. Knowing what is meant though, varys as per individual apperception. Hennce syntax issues leading to gaps in understanding.
Makes one wonder about universal truths. Are there any, understood as expressed, given the contextual ambiguity of word meanings!

9.5.2010
Me - We are objects trying to seek the Subject. Its the Subject object that casts shadows, based on it's disposition. Its the subject that chases shadows presuming substance.

The purpose of life

Arun - There isn't any answer,
here ain't going to be an answer,
There never has been an answer,
That's the answer!
Me - So was there a question?
Arun - Your very question:
Purpose of life.
Me - Whats the Purpose of life?
There isn't any answer,
here ain't going to be an answer,
There never has been an answer,
That's the answer!
Touche! Its just this. Whateva is....IS
Arun - You are right, its just this. This knowledge is not enough till you KNOW it.....Knowledge v/s knowing!
Me - Knowing how much is enough is the key to imbibing useful knowledge. Our sensory capabilities limit experience by a sense of satiation. So trust em to know knowledge likewise.
When knowledge is but thought grounded in the knowledge required to steer and lubricate the processes of living, then knowledge + need to know for how one chooses to live. And life is just This.

Perspective

We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or should be. And our attitudes and behaviors grow out of these assumptions.
Seek first to understand, then be understood.