No questions...

Me -Sometimes I think that all my attempts at understanding are never gonna yield the answers....(The fact that one doesn't really know what they are/should be, doesn't help either!). Maybe its best not to inquire. Be able then to say, in a manner of speaking, that the only thing I know is that I know nothing. And realise that, this, I am!
Just here and now. No questions...
Arun -Like I said before...There is no answer...
That's the answer
Me -Yup!Kinda funny that "Don't think" was an escapist mantra in college. A lifetime later, it now seems to be the best reality check. Says a lot for altered realities.
Arun -As they say...Life comes a full circle. We reach where we started from, only that we don't value the beginnings.

The brain - mind connect

Me -Is the mind a reflection of the brain's processes... OR.. Is the brain a surrogate of the mind's intentions.
Arun -1. Brain is an anatomical fact. It is matter. Mind is a physiological event, and not, matter.
2. Brain is akin to power supply and mind, is the electricity that flows. Mind is not a surrogate, nor, only in the brain. Each cell in the body has a mind of its own. The brain might act as Big Brother. You can locate the brain, but not the mind. Mind and intellect are two major attributes of the brain. The mind desires, intellect judges.
If u you show me your mind, i will tame it!

Desire and Apathy

Arun -"Remember that no one will understand you in life perfectly...just give credit to those who have tried to do it".
Me -The true credit to who who have tried to understand is for their perseverance, despite knowledge of one's aberrations. for their belief that even an imperfect life can be perfectly real.
Arun -Life seems imperfect only in as much as we make it to be...The blame lies on desires (again that six letter word!)
Me -My primary desire is to be able to desire. To want something. To feel the need to do something. Is the lack of desire the perfect imperfection? Or, is there a gap in understanding!
Arun -From what I understand, desirelessness is a state of mind which can have either a positive or negative predecessor. One state is that of a guy who has won over his desires after having realised its futility. The second situation arises out of utter apathy. I think that's where you are.
Me -Apathy has for long now been my understanding of my state of existence. Psychology helps explain why, to a great extent. The only problem is that knowing, doesn't really change What Is. It enables the acceptance that its just this. While also lending weight to Darwin and genetics.
Just good intentions are never enough. To be requires, a latent capacity.
Arun -A person shows what he is by what he does with what he has. You have the knowledge of your state of mind plus good intentions. Should be trigger enough.
Me -A lack of feeling and interest are best not shown. Good intentions imply that such apathy is not inflicted on others. And that's partly how this state of existence was triggered!

Distance

Occupation begets preoccupations and, distractions. The mind space is able to pay attention only to whats in the frame of reference.
Whats off the radar....Ah well....Those are just good intentions!!

Relationship

Raman -To create a relation is as simple as to writer SAND on SAND, while to maintain a relation is a difficult as to write WATER with WATER, on WATER.
Me -The intent of leaving an impression is usually the start point of relationships. Its easier when the others nature is receptive and one's intent, well guided.
The vagaries of nature make for changing circumstances. The impressionable are now more fluid by nature. Intent too, keeps slipping through the fingers.
So the key to relationships is adapting to nature.

Desire

Raman -Do not loose what you have by desiring what you don't have; Because what you have now, is on of the many things you once desired.
Me -You can't loose what you don't have. What you don't have now are, just those things that you did not know were desirable.

The Wish - Fantasy distinction

A wish is a great directional driver in life. It gives form to a presence that is felt absent. It articulates for one an achievable purpose, albeit with stretch. Something doable when able.
A fantasy is a forlorn hope, built to gloss over all that wasn't and couldn't be. Idealised dreams one hopes will fructify and create an alternate reality.

7 Life Savers

7 Life Savers:
1. Make peace with your past so it doesn't screw up the present.
2. What other people think of you is none of your business.
3. Don't compare your life to that of others. You have no idea what trip they are on.
4. Stop thinking too much. Its alright not to know all the answers. They will come to you when you least expect them.
5. Time heals almost everything. So give time a chance.
6. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
7. Chill....for all the problems in the world aren't owned by you.

Desirelessness

Me - I can't recall the guy. Some hazy images of a slight, short bearded guy surface... Lost with time I guess.
Arun - You ARE a lucky guy, I must say. Not actually lost in time but IN time! All of us are never in time, always in past or future.
Me - I guess its about ones perspective. Ones frame of reference decides ones perspective which then is dependent on ones focus. And focus comes from what you seek or what gets your attention. And that is the seed of desire.
If one wants nothing, then the frame of reference is always here and now. If ones attention focus is in a domain outside the realm of ones present activity.....Wishes.
Arun - The age old mantra - desirelessness. Sounds so easy and yet one is not able to achieve it. I was reading a Chinese guy, says, wisdom and virtue is possible only by living out of society....Sometimes I feel its true.
To achieve desirelessness is bloody another desire!
Me - I think that a common misconception is to see desirelessness as a positively achieved attribute. I see it as an outcome of the perception of ones worth in the context of society. I see it as an acceptance of ones inability to imbibe the virtues n garner the wisdom and skills requisite to belong. Hence, any further attempt can only come to naught...So why desire!
Arun - Do you mean to say one has to feel worthless to become desire-less?
Me - No. But it facilitates that lack, in a societal context. The worth we attribute to ourselves in society defines our sense of individuality. An added source of desires that distract the search for meaning. Worthlessness is closer to a clean slate because desire has realised nothing but a battered self. The only catch, is a desire for answers.

Mind games

Raman - You know why God didn't give us the gift to read the minds of other people?...So we could have a chance to trust and be the privilege to be trusted.
Me - In matters of the mind, it is best to never mind.

Truth

Raman - Truth has no definition. When all definitions are discarded then truth is unveiled unto itself. Just like when you discard all your clothes, your nudity is revealed unto you. Up to the time the understander is there, nothing can be understood....as soon as the understander disappears, understanding happens.
Me - Understanding Truth and realising it are two very different things. ust as practicing and preaching. How many of us are comfortable with our nude selves despite knowing that we are looking at our basic self. Every individual acts based on a thought he/she believes to be true, in that moment. That is the subjectivity of truth. The task of getting rid of the understander is not an easy one.
I sometimes feel that most of us are not equipped or capable of doing it due to belief, knowledge, intellect limitations...And doubts?
Raman - Yet we tend to cling on to them....beliefs etc...what an irony...so it is!!
Me - For those who know...it is the joy of the Known. For those who don't...it is the"fear" of the unknown.

The consequences of Memory...its just this

- Not remembering....Memory is a bummer trip.
* Well, memories are best buried, as we tend to make memorials out of them! Castles made on a foundation of something non existent and yet we are perpetually staying in them!

Memories, or the lack of them, are the consequences of trying to become, in a life that was. They are the basis for understanding Why you have become, what you are. Mine lean to a perception that the life thus far, was a series of experiences where thought and action were conditioned by a need to integrate and belong. A need to both fit in and also be seen to be in control of the experience.
The evaluation from memory helps one understand that, when has no real ideas of what one actually wants to be then, what one becomes....is what was meant to be.
What is....is just this.

Who we are is, what we have become, in the search for identity. Evolving through mind sets fashioned on who and what we think we can, or wish to be. Molded by circumstances and experiences that largely involved desires for inclusion in peer groups and, the grief of life on the periphery....The psychological baggage from childhood, takes hindsight to recognise.

Ones intellectual capacity, limited by and, to ones knowledge and experiences, has arrived at acceptance of an understanding of existence. There are no emotional drivers or desires from memory, or a wish frame, to redefine the status quo that...its just this. Now and then evaluation of rights and wrongs get triggered. Contextual understanding demands esoteric explanations beyond what one knows and accepts as reality. The absence of desire forestalls theseeking of answers on the premise - For What and to what end.
The ripples settle back to...its just this.
So what do I wanna do is the question that begs answers at such times. Still don't have any desire, passion or, a cue or clue. Evaluation makes for disruptive thought!

It is just this..

Me - A philosopher and a failure, seeking to understand life, seemingly arrive at the same Truth, but in vastly differing perspectives. The philosopher conclude that IT is just this. And the failures's WHYs beget answers that, it is just this.
So both realise the meaning of being. And how to just BE.
Life! The great equaliser.....Peace
Arun - I still have to understand how just to BE.
Me - You Are. You just don't want to admit it.
Arun - I think I am always trying to become, and not to just be.
Me - That is ingrained in the psyche of humankind. The need for constant generational improvement sees the aspect of trying to become, as an imperative of the species.
Those who can, keep raising the bar and chasing. Some among them who realise, say enough. And seek existentially. Those who can't..fail. The ones neither here nor there are the middle class!

Knock, knock

Me - Knock, knock.
Whose there.
I AM.
I AM Who?
O god!... yet another skeptic!

Waiting for Godot

Arun -After a long working day,
relaxing with a glass of rum,
waiting for Godot!
Me - The absence of a presence always tickles the imagination and provides even futuility, a meaning.
Enjoy...
Arun - The presence of an absence should also do the trick!
Me - Well substitution is generally the viable option. Though not for the purists...
Arun - Well, I could do with some adulteration!
Me - Waiting for Godot?
Who am I?
Pleased to meet you.
Do you know who I am?
You just told me, Who you are.
Who is that?
Oh I see! Your namesake I presume.
NO.No. You are not understanding.My question is Who am I?
Well you just said. Who.
I am Who!
That's what you keep saying.
Who said that?
That's right.
Aaaargh. I ask you Who am I and you insist that I am. What nonsense!!

The absurdity of it all is the adulteration. Enjoy the farce, that knowledge makes it all seem as the presence, in the absence of he elusive realisation.

Enlightenment

Raman - A student asked his Master,"Master is it true that I am already enlightened?" The Master replied YES, it is true in the sense that you are already aware that there is no "I" since firstly, you are always AWARE and secondly, there really is no I to be found. So you fool yourself into thinking that enlightenment is a state to be achieved and that one day you will achieve it.....So why don't I realise it asked the student. Because, the Master replied, You stubbornly refuse to admit it.

Bliss/Nirvana - the ultimate product marketing strategy??

Arun - What am I seeking?
Bliss (sic)
Where shall I find it?
Within the confines of myself (they say)
When shall I find it?
Here and now (they say)
Then what the bloody hell is the problem? Am I not ready for it? Am I not worthy enough? Am I not looking for it enough?
Me - A Thot:
Bliss, heaven et Al is the most successful product marketed to humankind. Its USP is that it convinces the individual that it is a solution for every conceivable need and that it is his/her bounden duty to seek it out. Using an aspirational concept of Oneness, God etc, as a product attribute that targets perceived self worth, is a masterstroke in packaging of a product whose benefits will only be realised in individual consciousness. Yet, the masses will continue to aspire to what the one, realised. A new brand ambassador.
A key requirement to product efficacy is unquestioned faith, without doubts about the efficacy of the result. Discriminating minds must acknowledge this as the omnibus concept, for this is a product that addresses all questions on existence. There is no need for any other.
And hence, the ruling elites in society through the ages - thinkers, rishis, kings - have perpetuated and marketed and idea whose time will never come, but whose shelf life will never die. A basis for maintaining order in in society by channelising denizens hopes and aspirations.
The strange thing about Bliss, that they say, is that there are no words to describe it. Yet all those who put you on the path to realisation have the vocabulary to describe what it is not!

An Universal Truth!

Me - Despite all the knowledge and understanding that guides sentient beings, when it comes to a crunch, the bottom line article of faith is ethnicity - a sad Universal Truth!

Relationship Truths

Me - Relationship Truths:
If you do, thats expected of you.
If you don't, thats neglect.
If you want to, thats encroachment.
If you try to, thats interference.
If you plan to, thats procrastination.
If you hope to, thats wishful thought.
If your approach is hands on, thats suffocation.
If its hands off, thats abdication.

Moral: Truths are but relative perspectives guided by vested interest!

Perspectives of Truth

Arun - "I AM" is the biggest dream. One needs a spiritual suicide to snap out of that dream.... (just a wild thot.)
Me - I am inclined to he following thots of Kierkegaard:
"What I really lack is to be clear in my mind what I am to do, not what I am to know, except in so far as certain knowledge must precede every action. The thing is to understand myself, to see what God really wishes me to do: the thing is to find a truth which is true for me, to find the idea for which I can live and die...."
Maybe God is just another like all other illusions the mind is said to conjure.
Why I am what I am is just an existential reality!
Arun - 100% true
But do you agree with his philosophy that "Subjectivity is truth" AND "Truth is subjective"?
Me - I really haven't explored the philosophical insights. But, a superficial understanding does resonate. In a way it explains to me why I feel no guilt, regret, remorse.
Arun - Well, do you think Truth is subjective or objective? Is it to be found in science or religion? Is it to be experienced or learned? Is it to be found by logic or inference? Is it black and white or grey?
Me - What each of us does is, in that moment, and is based on a Truth for us. This individual Truth may be guided by relevant and preceding knowledge existing that, he/she knows has been evaluated as right or wrong by experience, society, Faith et al. Action is triggered by the need to achieve the most "comfortable" fit in the situation and/or response to the circumstances. That need is usually one of inclusion. To belong and also be recognised, as per the terms of one's conditioning.
So the Truth is this individual perception that is the basis of one's actions in a moment.
Subjective or objective is a point of view. Is it to be found in science or religion is a matter of belief. Experience and learning keeps Truth dynamic. Absolutes and logic....???
Arun - Is Truth individualistic or universal? Is it like saying my God is better than yours? Is Truth constant, or can Truth be dynamic? Has it not been there for eons?
Me - What is Truth? An undisputed acceptance. The aspects and qualitative attributes, being subscribed to by majority community for personal reasons that encompass experience, belief, faith logic and all such approaches to explain and understand phenomena and experience. Aggregated experience provides a body of knowledge to explain things. That which is perceived and known to be real gets accepted as a universal truth - fuels scientific endeavor. Belief systems have idealised knowledge and ascribed Truth a divine spin to it. Possibly requiring their version of Truth to be unquestioned while also perpetuating an elite as interlocutors. All God believers, swear by their own God!!
Truth is dynamic. Belief held as Truth, continuously being negated by fact. - The earth as the centre of the Universe belief of Christianity. Beliefs about anatomical functions spawning remedies. The tangible ultimately can get proven beyond doubt as Truth and, upturn eons of belief held as Truth.
What is beyond doubt, is Truth. Even those aspects presently held on Faith, not in the realm of definition of fact, could over time become Universal Truths beyond doubt OR, linger on as individual Truths - dogmatic prescriptions of belief/Faith.
Arun - You have this unique knack of complicating things!!
Me - A little knowledge is always dangerous.
Truth also is what answers one Whys and Whatfors and results in peace of mind.

Wordplay and God

Raman - Money says: Earn me and forget everything.
Time says: Follow me and forget everything.
Future says: Struggle for me and forget everything.
GOD says: Remember me and get everything.
Me - But GOD! How do I know that you aren't just another illusion my mind is said to conjure. Using the mother concept of oneness to negate all other concepts.
Raman - Mother concept of Oneness....if a thorn gets stuck in your foot, you take it out with the help of another thorn and after that you throw away this one too...
Me - o one uses the thorns of money, time and the future, as appropriate, to forget everything and keep throwing them away. But keep remembering the thorn of GOD to get everything!!.. Strange!
Raman - Am not talking about the message...and you don't have to take the literal meaning of all words... Words are only pointers to wordless state of that which is You. Keep remembering You Are instead of remembering God if that suits you... This self-remembrance/awareness will give you everything i.e. reveal to you, your own vastness... Contemplation/meditation means deriving your lesson out of a message rather than getting into intellectual masturbation of words..
Me - The basis of understanding is a vocabulary. It starts with word meanings that stimulate thought. One learns language initially by rote and aping others. Fluency comes through use and contextual and literal understanding. Articulation and intellectual belief starts getting reflected when one perceives the word meaning as factual through experience and comprehension in thought and deed.
Transcending thought through contemplation may add wordless dimensions to word meanings. But words are all I have as a guide to discover new meaning.

I Amness

Raman - Why this is so as is so because everything intrinsically is one and is indivisible, so a virtual world is created. There the power, as mind, creating an illusion of division/duality...the I AM illusionally gets divided/fragmented into many I am's and as many you are's and the whole funny cycle of chasing each other comes into play as I/me/mine and You/yours etc..
Me - The understanding that everything intrinsically is one and indivisible is a realisation of no-mind. Experiencing the reality that ONLY I AM.
The existence of the mind is threatened by acceptance, that the manifest reality it is perceiving is but a virtual reality it creates, as a basis for its existence.
Its desire for identity, despite knowledge, alludes to the Whole only as the sum of its parts. As the parts seem to combine to make the Whole, so the mind perpetuates the illusion of experiencing Oneness.

Fondness

The pine from memories and wishes,
from the stupid to the sublime,
pan out as
thought massaging feeling.
And all that I miss about you
is in all my thoughts of you.
Bless my Thoughts!

A Socratic truth!

Arun - "I know only one thing, that know nothing." -Socrates
Me - An awareness that either keeps you on the learning curve or, inclines you towards the futility of knowledge. A choice guided by one's explanations of one's experiences and, the desires that they evoke. If there is sufficiency and relevance of knowledge from the experiential context, to realise desire, one continues to seek. The optimal attitude - ignorance....Else??

Knowledge follies

Arun - Life is limited and knowledge is unlimited. To use the limited to pursue the unlimited - isn't it foolish?
Me - If you recognise your limitations and still feel the need to know it all - Yes.
If you define the need to know in the context of the limitations - No.
Usable knowledge is enough. Usable knowledge is that which allows the intellect to objectively discriminate thought and emotion, in the quest for equanimity. The start point of objectivity is relevance. In relation to experiences one chooses to define for oneself and, the outcomes envisaged.
The need to know aspects extend to stuff you like to know and is nice to know too. One has to discriminate!!

Seeking....the route

Arun - Unhappiness is a byproduct of the desire to be happy.
Me - Happiness is not a continuum. Just moments. Desire can't be for momentary states. There must be another ingredient that influences the byproduct. Creating a faux state of mind?
In my experience, it is ones degrees of freedom that hold the key to at least the absence of unhappiness. The freedom to do what one does or doesn't. Responsibility for and to oneself.
Arun - I think I don't know of the freedom that you are talking about. So be it!
Me - The freedom to create and sustain the conditions necessary for introverted seeking, which is the desire.
Arun - Seeking WHAT?
Me - Your SELF
Arun - Do you have to be introverted to find your SELF? Is it your individual SELF or part of the universal consciousness?
Me - Introversion is the only route to subsume the individual as a part of SELF and the possible realisation that IT is part of the universal consciousness? It takes a desire for freedom to make that acceptance and further degrees of freedom to stay on that to inwardly realise that desire.
The awareness that the Truth is out there, begins in here.

Desire - a felt need

Me - Desire - a felt need. Fulfillment contingent upon ever changing circumstances that constantly impel one to become, as dictated by situational needs - the circle of misery.
To BE....:-)
Arun - The only desire/felt need in my life is to have a good drink after work and a good sleep!
Me - The only felt need in your life appears to be to have a good drink after work and a good sleep! The only desire being that, that happens on your terms....Full circle bro.

You once told me:
there isn't any answer,
there ain't gonna be an answer,
there never has been an answer.
That's the answer!
Its great intellectual mooring for all the questioning.

Caring....Its just this

Caring is spontaneously doing all those things that you feel can help to alter favorably the situation of someone who triggers such desire.
No whys.....Its just this!

Desire... Belief.....Faith.....connections??

Arun - Desireless, you are enlightened. With desire. you go on moving in a circle of misery.
Me - Desireless is when one has no felt needs. Without felt need there is no basis for belief. Without belief, there is no faith. Without faith, nothing really matters......One view of enlightenment!!
With desires, you go on moving in a circle of misery when, there is no constancy in desires. As desire moves, attainment too keeps shifting out of reach....How much is enough!
Arun - Belief and faith have no interdependence. The former is imposed upon you by virtue of your family, religion etc. Faith develops by virtue of realising the genuineness of the subject. One is passive, the other is active. Belief is in a system, while you can have faith in an individual. Both of them have no dependence on felt needs, that's my view.
Me - Subscribing to a belief system is a matter of choice. The decision variable is a felt need. Can there be any other basis for choice. That choice to believe or not becomes the basis for instilling faith in you.
Theism makes you believe in God. Atheism makes you believe in oneself and agnostics just don't believe in believing!
Felt need > Belief > Faith?

Me - When one is the judge, jury and executioner on one's own problems, one either ends up dead or, keeps commuting the sentence to the same life. And the circle of misery never ends!!

Sharing

Raman - Sharing problems and asking for help doesn't mean that we are weak or incompetent....It actually indicates an advanced level of Trust...
Me - When one is the judge, jury and executioner on one's own problems. One either ends up dead or, keeps commuting the sentence to the same life.
Sharing means you present your case to a new judge who is objective and can give one fresh insights on how to execute life.
By sharing, One accepts that judging oneself has its weaknesses and limitations. And that's a strength.

Digest this!

Arun - "We live in an unexplained world....
Where Poor People walk miles and Miles to Earn Food.
AND
Rich People walk Miles and Miles to Digest Food..!
Me -Whats unexplained actually is the differential needs, abilities and provision of sustenance, given that its been explained that most alimentary canals are the same!

Belief.....and the purpose of Life?

Me - Am I wrong when I say that the purpose of life has been codified variously as different belief systems millenia ago. And we just try to understand and interpret this as we deem relevant or, as faith. And yet, despite all this time, knowledge and exploration, there is still no unanimity about the genesis of life, whose purpose we seek?.....Strange?
Scientific inquiry has given us evolution, the most recent addition which I think also questions most established belief systems. Bringing matter over mind in this realm!!
Arun - No belief system can tell you the purpose of life. They can only instill faith in you, and, one has to have faith either in God or Oneself.
Theism makes you believe in God. Atheism makes you believe in oneself and agnostics just don't believe in believing!

Im here

Conscious thought as attention to a wish, creates the presence of what you want. Here I am in your mind. Acknowledge me and I have form. In whateva shape and situation you wish to place me/us.
Is the real world only what you see and feel? Isn't that just a reflection of what your mind is perceiving sensorily. Do you sense me only if you touch me! The mind has more sense my luv.

Expression

Raman - "Crying Alone" is really better than laughing with the people who pretend to "Like U".
"Life is to express yourself not to impress others."
Me - Life, as we have been brought up to know, has conditioned us to understand our worth through the impressions and assessment others make of us. Conformance is the norm. When you start to express independently, you develop the capacity and strength to communicate without regard for approval. Without need for companionship. An understanding that, we alone are Life.

Life

Me - "The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates.
3 millenia on, one gets a sense that its the examined life that's not worth living!
Arun - Because this precious gift of life has been given to us, we have the choice of either blithely accepting the bounty and living from day to day, or asking questions about its meaning.
Where there is rationality, there is purpose. Where there is purpose, there is hope.
Me -And the basis of hope is oft faith without questions. And rationality questions faith in the hope that its all for a purpose. And a purpose demands meaning, not mere faith!!
Arun -

What can be..

Opportunities are situations for betterment of oneself. If the standards one measures that by are the perceived norms in the environment, both opportunity and outcome take on a material hue.
What is....is basically the result of one's world view. What one chooses to be is the ever present opportunity. What one seeks...is a basis for that choice.....Inside or outside oneself

Is fear the key...

Raman - Happiness keeps you sweet.
Trials keep you strong.
Sorrow keeps you human.
Failure keeps you humble.
Success keeps you glowing.
But only Faith keeps you going...
Me - When you don't know where you're going, you just face up to all that comes your way. All that happens does, inspite of you, not because you are there. Any response is soon a memory, that rarely ever stays.
And you come to understand that Nothing really matters, as an article of Faith.
Raman - Freedom is; freedom from fear. Fear of the unknown is a blessing coz only out of investigating this fear, can one evolve one's understanding....so fear can be a friend rather than an enemy....face fear with faith....faith, that it has come to awaken you to make your understanding more profound and then thank fear, if it evolves your understanding rather than hiding yourself in a cocoon which will ultimately increase it many folds and will deprive you of your freedom from it.
Me - Fear is a gross sense, a primary instinct for survival. It is a by-product of knowledge. The unknown only surfaces fear when one's environment seems to threaten survival. Exploring fear only gives an understanding of what can keep you comfortable in one's environment. Cocoons do the same.
Freedom is knowing that fear is only a life support tool.
Raman - You are mixing instinctive fear which is present in all life forms with conceptual fear which is present in all humans and, fear of the unknown which comes in seekers.
Me - I believe that perception evolves as instinctive response. Without perception one cannot understand the fallacy of perception. Instinctive fear to protect life is not very different from the fear of letting go of the perceived life as we know it. Fear is the basis of preserving life as we choose to know it in both cases. You can't seek if you fear.

Words!!

One is oft bogged down by semantics in trying to understand philosophy. Earlier, words arose in thought to convey understanding. Now words tend to seed thought that confounds it!!!

That was IT

Raman - is this it?
It is This
This It is!
It Is This.
Is This It....
When you deeply get rooted in "This Is It", you thoroughly enjoy responding to "IT" and after the response, you can relax and enjoy the response as "That Was IT"....LoLzzzzzz

Is This It.....

Me - When there are no thoughts, there are no feelings. In their absence, what is present is only what is manifested and seem. What is seen is perceived by the mind as is. The absence of thought and feelings lead it to accept without evaluation. The mind just mirrors the objects seen in space-time, as What is, unblemished by the duality of emotion. The minds reflection of reality as seen, seeds no thought or desire to alter the imagery. Reflecting peace in the mind. What is, here and now, is seen as just this.In both this and the extended continuum of space-time, this seen reality keeps the mind in peace.
Given the limits to what can actually be seen, what and how I see as "me" is the key to the reflections by the mind of what is, as is. So what I see as "me" can keep the mind at rest. As long as I'm detached and do not blemish the mirror that is the mind, by experiencing emotion!

is this it?
It is This.
This It is!
It Is This.
Is This It....

Circling in understanding. Symbolising that It is Nothing. Does one keep circling to see if It is No Thing?

Raman - is this it?
It is This.
This It is!
It Is This.
Is This It....
Until there is no doubt don't believe this.....Doubt the doubter and stay with this question...

i-am-ness

Raman - Its the play of the consciousness, by the consciousness, within the consciousness...felt, enjoyed and watched by the consciousness itself as i-am-ness.... I am the knower and watcher of this consciousness as it arises and subsides continuously within me as waves !!
Me - Wow....the joy of Being. Just continue to BE.

Trust

Raman - If you trust someone, trust till the end, whatever the result may be. In the end, either you will have a very good person or a very good lesson...
Me - What is trust? A belief that how it was, so it always will be, come what may. An expectation that actions will always adhere to the basis on which belief was built. Is that trustworthy?
For me, all people are good till they prove they are otherwise. By deed not belief. Trust, like other expectations, only sets one up to learn lessons that are avoidable.
Raman - What is misunderstanding? It is missing to understand. Once understanding happens, then there is nothing left but laughter...laughing at missing to understand what is, was all the time so very obvious....

"Let Go"

Raman - What do you understand by "Let Go".
Me - Detachment. Shedding....Wat you hold on to and what others hold of you.
Raman - Very true...the desires that keep arising in mind...to let go of them....understanding that all desires are bondage and letting go of them, you remain free.
Me - It's attachment that creates desires and, memories are a primary source of creating it. It's the residual of experiences good, bad or ugly that haunt you to recreate or exorcise what was as, what should be. Based on the feeling lingering in memory, felt as a wish or desire. Thus the relevance of living in he here and now. Let go of "memory" to feel free.

An unspoken thought

When children come of age, they do judge parents for acts of omission and commission they feel impacted adversely on them, for no seeming fault of theirs. The cross a parent bears is the knowledge that the burden of sentence pronounced is borne equally if not more by the child who pronounces it. In terms of alienation and emotional dilemmas.
Such judgment has, over the last 4 years, devolved us to nothing more than a blood relationship in name only.
One can't wish away the past. But whats done, can't be undone either.
You seem intent on letting memories fuel your judgment....To what end? I have already lost everything. Have you gained anything by trying to purge me, or the memory of me?..Think about it!

Experience - as a Tourist or..explorer

Me - When you journey to the unknown using road maps prepared by others, you are traveling as a tourist would. Constantly looking for sign posts to reassure you that you are on track. A true journey into the Unknown is like exploration. The true essence of exploration for the explorer is discovery. The newness of the experience of Experiencing the unknown.
Yet, everything discovered seems to have no meaning until it has a relational reference to what you know. But once you seek to relate discovery to what you know, you are once again putting yourself in the dilemma of whether you are a tourist or an explorer, in this journey.

Experience the Unknown. Don't attempt to know it. Just Know it exists and explore it....
Its not for nothing that they say that experience is the best teacher. Explore to experience to learn to know...that you can Know. Ignorance is the basis of that experience
Raman - Great Dropping all concepts of experience gives direct experience, irrespective of the taste. Else all experiences become tasteless because of dressing of concepts upon them...and one remains deprived of one's original taste.

Humor and happiness

A sense of humor is good to have. A rare gift...Then again, when you see life for what it is, each moment is just this lightness of being. Emotion independent. Its just this....


The search for happiness is itself the main source of unhappiness.
Happiness is felt spontaneously in Life's moments, if one allows oneself to discover Life, as it comes.

The energy of Patience and Silence

Raman - Patience and Silence are two most powerful energies. Patience makes you mentally strong and Silence makes you emotionally strong.
Me - My view - Patience is the emotional strength to observe and not involve oneself with What is happening. Silence is the intellects response to What is observed as happening

Respons-ability

One's Response-ability determines and clarifies the burden of responsibility and conscience that one oft perceives. Fixing responsibility for What Is only tells us who or what contributed to it. It doesn't change anything.
If one can spell out how much is enough on every front, one gets answers to what one can as well as what one should do..
Respons-ability!!

How much is enough

Arun - There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves stuck at a psychological impasse. Inside we are in turmoil, yet we are unwilling to admit the problem to ourselves, let alone discuss with anyone else.
Me - One's Response-ability clarifies the burden of responsibility and conscience that oft impact one's psyche. How much is enough, answers both what one can as well as what one should do.

What is...was meant to be

Me - To Be, one needs to understand the basis of the choices that created What Is. Despite which there seems to exist an alternate reality as What Should be.
My state of being depends on knowing how and What I Am and Why I Am that. Is my life dependent or independent of the me that created it. If I am to Be, is it because of or inspite of my choices that stare at me as What Is. If What Should be keeps getting placed out of reach by the binding constraints around choice, then What Is, is but a Hobsons choice of What Should be. And there never will be an alternate reality so long as one presumes binding constraints regulate choice.
To Be, you first need to feel free to choose!
Arun - If you had free will, you would never say, What Is...was meant to be.
Me - It is because I didn't have it then that I now know that What Is...was meant to be. And What will be, will be in exercise of my free will, as it is meant to be.

Hypocrisy perspectives

Arun - If hypocrisy is the bridge between what we are and what we should be, I feel everyone is a hypocrite.
Me - Hypocrisy is not the bridge between what we are and what we should be. Its a convenient palliative that seemingly justifies why what we know just doesn't manifest itself to be. Hypocrisy is the delusion that What Is is not a part of What should be. Hypocrisy is the use of separate lenses to view the same reality. Hypocrisy is using variables to chase a constant.

Faith

Raman - Happiness keeps you sweet. Trials keep you strong. Sorrow keeps you humane. Failure keeps you humble. Success keeps you glowing. But only Faith keeps you going.
Me - Equanimity, undisturbed by the fickle onslaught of emotion, is the basis for realising that Its Just this....A realisation that What Is....was meant to be... is an article of Faith

The Why - For What mantra to peace of mind

Me - One needs to know Why one is doing What one is doing. Keep asking Why to each answer you come up with, and honestly answer. When there are no more Whys that crop up....You Know Why...Now for each intent that crops up, ask For What. And you wil gradually find middle ground...from which the paths less travelled are more accessible.
The Why - for What mantra to peace of mind.
Arun - I think it all ultimately boils down to pursuit of pleasure or escape from pain.
Me - In other words either become a sybarite or a zombie? All sense, no sensibility??

Pleasure and pain are the resultant of the ability or, inability to do, what one wants to. The degree of pleasure and pain, a factor of how strongly one wants what one wants. The life position one settles into reflects the worth one attaches to what one wants.
Abdication from an ideal can be a conscious and worthy compromise or...a reflection of futility belief!
Arun - Either you accept What Is, or keep hankering after What Should be. Both have their share of pleasure and pain.
Me - What Is...was meant to be. Shaped largely by your attempts to create What Should be, as per you, as What Is. The black and white clarity of your Should bes fuels a need to distill the grays of the wish frames of other dependent variables that make up What Is. The pleasure and pain flow from these efforts.
Acceptance is but the realisation of ones ability to juxtapose ones black and white clarity on the grey wish frame that seems to pervade What Is. If peace of mind is but a sensory state, then What Should be is just a lighter shade of pale of What Is!

Arun - Coming to terms with What Is...Realisation or failure?
Me - An acceptance that its just this actually. Realisation or failure is in the eyes of the beholder...A mind game.

Me - If I could....I would.
But I can't....so I wont.
When I can...I will.
Till then....I'll take a chill pill.
Wishful thought or compromise?
Realisation or failure?..or
Resilience
Arun - Sounds more like a laid back and defeatist attitude to me.
Me -
Consider
Happenings
Intellectually
Loath
Lovingly

Patiently
Interpreting
Lifes
Lessons

If you find that defeatist and laid back, then your learning curve has plateaued!
Arun - You may be right. What I am learning now is that all that I have learned till now doesn't work in the perceived world in which we live. The perceived reality is what forces one to set priorities. If we set them by the so called Real Reality, one is trying to steer life by armchair philosophy. I cannot live in this world setting the parameters according to the Other world.
Me -What you have learnt till now was with the objective of showing you that the perceived world is just that...a perception. The lessons are rooted in the experiences from/of this perceived reality.
No one forces one to set priorities. It's usually informed choice. If we set them based on perceptions, one is accepting that one's learning is nothing but armchair philosophy. Survival of the fittest applies to the evolutionary process of learning too. The lessons are meant to help you Adapt, Grow, Evolve out of this habitat to a new reality.....Or perish
Arun - I think I'm on the way to perishing
Me - The monk drinking on the street metaphor works both ways. So have a blast on your way out. You have nothing to loose but your perceptions!

Variables as constants

Raman - Time and Smile are two crucial things in our life. Sometimes Time makes us forget to Smile and sometimes someones smile makes us forget Time.
Me - Time is a constant and Smile a variable. Variables are dependent on constants while constants are usually overshadowed by variables. If we make the variable constant, then the constant will never be seen as variable.....
And crutches like fate, destiny and all the wishes and fears attributed to the unknown will disappear.

Boil to a cool

Raman - Reflection cannot be seen in boiling water. The same way that truth cannot be seen in a state of anger....So always be cool.
Me - Reflection cannot be seen in boiling water, but reflection on the lack of reflection is the only way to know that Truth always reflects coolly and clearly. So boil to a cool.

Raman - Visit www.mooji.org. You'll enjoy it
Me - OK..
My understanding framework relies heavily on experiencing. Spiritual literature including Mooji is insightful and helps develop the framework for understanding. But at my level, I soon find the reading to be too abstract and unconnected with what is, in my here and now experienced reality. Understanding comes from first hand experience and, the need to know builds from that.

What is

Raman - That...that the thought is seeking, is the thought itself and that is the nature of thought...That...that what is, seeks nothing as it knows, it already is everything.
Me - If seeking is the attitude then...the nature of thought is the futile chase of That.
That What is are just images reflected on the mind, seeking nothing, Knowing nothing.

SMILE

Raman - Smile is the Cooling system of the Heart, the Sparkling system of the Eyes. The Lighting System of the Face and the Relaxing ystem of the Mind.
Keep Smiling so that all Systems remain activated.
Me - Systems Make Instinct Less Efficient. So Mechanical Is Life Eventually. Spontaneity Means Intellect's Loafing Elsewhere. So just SMILE when you please, not systemically.

Perception

Raman - A single moment of Miss Understanding sometimes is so poisonous that it makes us forget the hundred lovable moments spent together, within a minute..
Me - An lol at the end of a message oft clarifies intent. With the constraints of an SMS though, one just presumes that if the context of the message is misread, the messenger isn't shot dead. After all...
lol - lots of luv
lol - lots of laughs.
In the end, its all in the eye of the beholder. The intent he/she attributes is the intent he/she perceives....

Illusory illusions

Raman - I drew a cube on a paper as we used to do in school...Now however intently I look at it, there seems a cube with hollow space on the paper only. Am unable to see straight and slanting lines which constitute it and neither can I see them as different squares drawn by different lines. Nor can I differentiate paper from the cubes or from lines....When this illusion is so difficult to realise, imagine the difficulty of realising the illusions of life....lol.
Me - On the contrary, you have consciously created an illusion that you cannot now perceive as anything but real. And that is the very nature of life's illusions. We consciously create them and then intently perceive them as real.
If one can attempt willfully to capture a 3D object in a 2D space and still perceive it in 3D, you don't need specs to see Avataar in 3D.

Its Just this...

Observation - a sensory recording of as many of the elements that make up a whole. When the state of the whole gets altered, one can see which element(s) contributed to it.
The whole becomes Whole when the elements that make up the whole recognise that the here and now is...What is. What was, was once What is that begat What is. Just as What is will beget What will be as What is. This transition/change is the only constant in life.
How one attempts to manage the elements of one's whole determines whether one accepts the Whole to be What is or, futilely keep attempting to understand What is, in the context of positioning ones whole, one's managed self, for symbiosis with the Whole.
Its Just this...

Nature of pursuits of the mind

Pursuit is not the nature of the mind. Intellect evolves from natural sensory input guided by the objective of survival of the living being it is part of. Once the basic security, social and self esteem needs are secured, the mind then seeks to self actualise. It is at this stage that active pursuit starts. What use does a beggar worried about his next meal have for an understanding of nothing vs no-thing. He has no-thing which is nothing.
So...it it really very obvious! The nature of things!

Perceiving nothing

I hope you got the message in my blank message in reply to your message that started this conversation.
It is so easy to perceive as nothing when you see nothing. If you let it trigger questions like intent, motive etc then, the quest for the meaning behind nothing starts, and soon muddles up your instinctive perception of what nothing is. nd you start objectifying nothing!

The Way

How do we know that we can Know.
What is to be known.
If it is to be Known then can there be an unknown.
Or is it just need for a purpose that manifests as wordplay.
Nothing as No-thing

And we get entranced in the dances of consciousness. Sublime, subtle, balancing....All in a tiny fragment of one's real world.
To nothingness we descend. To be or become nothing, we shed all the baggage we carry. Yet, to achieve nothingness, we try to ascend to levels of consciousness on the wings of thoughts. While always desperately seeking thoughtlessness.
Because it has been written, we follow others experience. Rarely giving a chance to ourselves for virgin exploration that may just be, or lead to the way, known as, The Way.

Knowing is No-thing

Raman -How can nothingness be thought of, simply because it is nothing....A thing can think either of itself or of other things....think is the other word of thing....that, that conceptualises a thing is a thought which is, a mere reflection/subtle part of thing itself. So, the thought can only think of the thing, be it the solid thing as an object or subtle thing as a thought. But it no way can think of no-thing....the thought can only conceptualise no-thing as something to think about it. Similarly nothing cannot think about anything because thinking itself is a thing....So in between there is subtle knowing...between the thing and no-thing. This knowing can only come alive when there is a very fine balance between thinking and no-thinking... Because else when one is, the other is not...not that they are two but because they are actually one, thus inseparable...the nothing exists as thing and thing disappears as nothing....knowing this as is or as a play is what is realisation or simply knowing... And once this is known...all is known...because when you know one thing completely you know all things and once you know nothing completely, you know the whole of nothingness....and when you know this, you know yyourself as a knower and when you know this totally you know yourself simply as knowing.

What is ..as..What Should be

Arun - No matter how much one tries to accept What Is, its always What Should Be that beats it! Thats the WHOLE problem.
Me - Why is it difficult to accept What Is when you Know you have consciously created it, through expedient choices. Willfully compromising on What Should Be, that you Know to be an achievable reality! The problem is that compromises erode one's faith in oneself.
Why let What Should Be batter you. Accept it as a reality that could have been, that you have had to choose not to live. And.. maybe can..or will.if you choose to..some day.
What Is coincides with What Should Be through conscious choices, not expedient compromises.
Keep the faith. What Is...Is Just this.

Toil - an end or a means..

Me - You toiled....for an end....A beginning.
You toil....for an end to beginnings.

Toil....An end that once was the means to a beginning. Now, its just What Is...No beginning or ending!

Know al!

Raman - To understand the in breath and the out breath completely is to understand all cycles of nature completely.
Me - Is that really necessary. Do I need to know how and why I know. Its quite enough for me to know that what I know, is not all that is to be known. If i know all, then thats just what i am...A know all!

Q & A

Must ther be a question for there to be an answer. Do answers only emerge through questions. Questions facilitate a focus on the obvious. For once known, the answer is always obvious.

Cest la vie

Me -Silences could well be the ultimate acknowledgment of Being. Communicating a reality without embellishment or comment. The lack of warmth and curiosity but a reflection of the superfluousness of feeling, in the acceptance of What is.
We evolve and grow yet, the template of expectancies guiding observation of behavior are, from who we were and wished to be.
One checks understanding by seeking understanding, that demonstrates that one is understood. But when all attempts to understand are met with generic Cest la vie (Thats life) responses, one begins to feel an outsider in a relationship. Not sure where one stands in it anymore.
The known begets acceptance. Tis the unknown, created by knowing, that triggers doubts that encroach on and disrupt the equanimity frame.
Then again...One realises that those templates built around who we were and thought we would be, have helped make me who I am. More Thoughtless than thoughtful, detachment coming easily, in making my peace.
The template, in hindsight, relied exclusively on the sensory. Evidence gathering, the basis for relieving insecurities. Though it recognised that comfort in silence was the ultimate in relationships. It needed exclamations of that to give it meaning.
Updationof the templates sees one as uncaring. To each their own, in rare moments, maybe sharing.
What was evolved to this unimagined What is. And the realisation that...Its Just this.
Silence! Cest la vie.
Arun - My silence only implies my utter dissatisfaction with What Is., and, death of my SPIRIT, as you can see. Thats all I have to say.
Me - You sound as if you have put yourself beyond salvage. What purpose the spiritual understanding then if the SPIRIT succumbs so easily in the face of What Is?
Arun - I have not succumbed easily, but the fact of the matter is that I Have.
Me - If you have succumbed, why go on floging a framework that only pulls you to the extremities but creates the mirage of putting you on the middle pathh. Stop reading and sleepwalk through life. Thats the attitude in sync with the helplessness in succumbing.
I know thats harsh bro. ut if you are gonna be so defeatist, then face the reality that enriching the mind, while drowning in the cesspool of matter is no lifeline or, light at the end of this sewer. Seems like continual self flagellation for the failure to Be. Is it just this?
Arun - Rather than enriching my mind, I am trying to empty it of concepts.
Me - Given the conceptual frame you have developed, your mind is akin to the Gordian knot. The only way to disentangle the proverbial knot is to slice through it. Emptied at one stroke!!

Know that...We are

I know that change is the only constant in life. And paradoxes like that tend to be the basis of all great truths. If I choose to let my reality be enriched by someone else's experience, I'm receptive to learning and my moments are good.
Thers no grand design to my life, no purpose or reason. And its the realisation of that, that makes each moment, paradoxically, so precious yet redundant. For when thought gets triggered by perspectives that others see, I risk loosing sight of What is, in the maze of what was or can be.
I know that I'm just another nobody in the billion. No desire to be recognised as one in a million.
And How or when I need to cope is based on my choices. Just as knowing How much is enough helps resolve the paradox of the end as the beginning.
So cherish all your moments. Feel blessed as who you are. For in every moment, here and now, we are.

What is...was meant to be

Attributing -ves and +ves to states of mind is the shallow search for the so called feel good posture. Yes, thinking is but experiencing and accepting that...what is..was meant to be.

Keep the faith

At the end of the day, we have to live with ourselves. So long as one does what one feels and knows is right, there are no conscience calls and apprehensions of consequences. If you don't trust yourself enough to know and do what you feel is right in your environment then, you'll be constantly unsettled by it.
The right vs wrong war is subjective. Faith in yourself is the key. First, to survival and then the knowledge that you may loose a few battles in order to win the war. Thats a perspective to consequences that knowing and doing whats right gives u.

4 Project Lotus

What is meant to be...will be.
For What iswhat you make it.
All the best for whateva you want this...and your life ahead...to be.

Realising Nothing - the Detachment perspective

Its all for No-thing.
Yet we succumb to temptation and keep seeking.
For the joys of those rare experiences of No-thing,
As though reinforces one's understanding and Knowing.
That clarity builds up a conceptual lens,
that instantly shapes No-thing into something.
And the moment of bliss
stays just that....a moment.
A moment when you think that you've come to know something which was No-thing.
So you seek to know more,
sharpening the conceptual lens even more.
The mind unknowingly focuses on something
that seems like nothingness.
Building a conception and perception
of the intangible No-thing.
And one keeps seeking till one accepts that
Nothing can help you
Realise No-thing...
Shed everything and Know...
Nothing....

And that my friend is what detachment is all about. In the situation yet outside it. Observing and doing only that much in order to keep from doing and to stall judgement calls.

Unmindfull

When the mind minds you,
you are the mind.
When you mind the mind,
the mind is You.
When you let the Mind do the minding.
You are free of the binding of minding.
You cab then Be....unmindfull.

Moms will always tell you how to do it...

Parental concern is boundary-less. It seems to encroach on private spaces which are held taboo, primarily in the friendship space.
You may not like it but remember, that whatever is done is for what is perceived to be in YOUR best interest. Moms will always tell you how to do it, no matter what.
If that embarrasses you, understand, coz she is concerned about saving you from perceived hurt or embarrassment and, doing whats in your best interest, from a Mom's viewpoint.The generation gap exists because theres lack of mutuality on whats best!
e experienced the gen gap too. More stringently. "You wanna keep seeing him then, marry him". We had to tell our share of lies to spend time together. The resultant life is also attributed to not having listened to Ma. Marrying against her wishes. That's the mindset behind the care and concern. Her hindsight steering your life. Understand and accept there's nothing you can do to change the mindset. But once you know, that's the norm and its so much easier to adapt without hassling yourself about the Whys and Wherefores and...keeping your peace.

Expectations-the death knell of relationships

Most relationships tend to get defined by the expectations of behavior ascribed to them. EQ elements like care, concern, sharing etc have behavior templates prescribed, which one seeks or desires as experience. All based on the articulation of someone else's experience, that has become the generic dictionary definition of these terms.
Our expectancies, though individual, are generic and, quite apart from one's own experience frame...both in context and content. Though the essence appears similar and relevant. Take any of one's senses. Feel, sight, sound et al... We understand their meaning generically but.. their true import is realised only from first hand personal experience. Meaning is derived from one's experienced reality.
You now know and once you Know...thats reality. No more expectancy. What we don't experience, for whatever reason, is however evaluated against the generic norm defined...not against what is Known. Foe all purposes an illusion that one chases, till one actually experiences.
By nature, generic templates are static and do not factor in the experiences of the individual or the context. Wish frames are based on this illusion that continually perpetuates a cycle of expectancy, that is the death knell of any healthy relationship..

Paths to Realisation

A response to Raman's message that it is the mano shaaririk yantra (msy)-the mind body mechanism that is the hurdle to Realisation...

Me - The msy is the special purpose vehicle (spv) for realisation. The stages and tenure are designed for acquisition of knowledge through it's basic senses, for the development of the mind and intellect, to lay the foundation for awareness and Realisation. The msy needs the sensory experience to understand duality and become aware of the Mind. The spv that realises this objective becomes realised and, transcends the can and cannot duality.
The purpose of the msy drifts and shifts as per developments and responses in the experiential growth of it's spv. Hence, to each their own basis for choices. One who is ignorant about Realisation, is not likely to seek it. Those who are aware are the ones who set themselves up for the constant churning.
The more they get to know, the greater the frustration...since the meaning from comprehending and understanding doesn't seem to be the Meaning!
The problem seems/is assessed to be the msy and it's sensors....so outgrow it. But the spv was always meant to be shed once it's objective is realised. The problem is not with its sensors but, how we use the knowledge they garner, to shape mind and intellect. If you focus only on the process of acquisition by the senses, knowledge is all about sensations and pandering to basic instincts. One then takes the good with the bad fatalistically. Its Just this, for them.
Those uncomfortable with this, start seeking and based on learning and application, try to stop the drift and shift and put the spv(msy) back on track to meet it's original objective. To keep experiencing in the hope of knowing that true ignorance is really bliss.
There are no behavior templates to guide one's search and so, the churning continues, though qualitatively different. Again, the msy seems to be the problem. And now..., one relies exclusively on intellect and so, stays in the loop.
If one trusts and lets one's senses have a greater say in determining one's comfort level, it is easier to appreciate and accept the realisation that Its just This...and help the msy(spv) grow towards its objective.
Realising parts of the whole is a route to Realising the Whole. There's less churning and takes the can-cannot duality as it comes, using knowledge to remove doubt and foster a state of equanimity which is, an essential foundation for Realisation...All thanks to the msy.
For me....Its Just This.
Raman - Everyone is a Buddha...some have decided not to remember it for a while...just that much is, what it's all about.
Me - Decided??- Informed choice, surrender or ignorance!

Contact

I presume that she has her reasons for not keeping me informed about herself. She's chosen not to keep me informed about her recovery progress. No contact despite knowing that I'm in Delhi. No acknowledgment of 2 best wishes messages. So whateva it is, I can only respect her reasons and not intrude, unless she wants me to. That's why I want her to ask

Project Lotus boosts

You are a success when you have done your level best, and are conscious that you have done your best. Though the world may write you down as a failure.

The only guy you have to get better than is.....Who you are right now.

Success sometimes seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.

And if you don't succeed at first, do it like Mom told you!

All the best for Lotus

Fatherhood

Its much easier to become a father than be one.

Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older, they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

Quotes that struck a chord.....

Best wishes for all you do towards becoming Who you wanna be.

Coping with Shit.

If someone is ungrateful and, you tell him that he's ungrateful....what then! You've called him a name, but nothings changed!

Once you know and accept as truth, there are no more doubts. Once there are no more doubts, there are no questions and hypothetical possibilities that are usually the basis for future plans. "What if the sun doesn't rise tomorrow" is never a scenario we plan for because we know and have accepted that it will. No doubts about that.
If you know and accept that your boss is an arsehole, then there are no doubts that you'll only get shit from him.
Agreed, watching another defecating in public is quite unsettling....But since you know its just this, one gets used to it and it ceases to affect. All the people shitting by the railway tracks. On a train journey, one so easily accepts what one doesn't like. Thats all that watching somebody Shit is all about. Once you know, just accept!
Shit happens. Its part of life. But when you are in sit then there are two options. You can devote your senses to determining the quality of the shit or... focus all your senses on creating the scenario of a long luxurious bath that would wash it all off. That's detachment and a form of sensate focus. I prefer the tangible experience on the latter though!

Why care....Its Just this

Responsibility is usually manifested as a wish frame of things one thinks best for the other. What gets lost sight of is that its the other who has to act. And he or she may have an agenda of their own.
Its so easy to live somebody elses life, especially when you feel responsible for them. Our concern inevitably sees us in the drivers seat of someone elses life.
We get affected by dissonance in the things we care about.
Caring creates attachment, which is primarily sustained by memories. Memories are all in the mind and intangible. If they are intangible, they are not real in the here and now. How then can something that is not real affect you.
The effects arise out of one's non-acceptance that reality is just this....This here and now. The past is but a memory. The future is nothing but plans and wishes. "What if" scenario building is but a Mind activity....intangible.
So Why care!!

Conversations on Life - Afterword

Our Activity framework generally determines our actions and responses that contribute largely to our state of Being. This framework is lattice-like, developed on the construct and intersects of one's frames of Occupation and Domesticity and...their interfaces with society. Self gets defined by the degrees of freedom one has in the spaces of one's lattice. Prime being, the extent of space that accrues to oneself, on one's terms.
The binding constraints are usually embedded in the core constructs of the Occupational and Domestic frames and the intersects one develops over time, against the backdrop of pressure for conformance to societal norms. The latter introduces one to the vagaries of circumstance that can add variables not envisaged.
The playing field then seems to be constantly changing. The premises behind the interfaces that constituted the plan and design of the original construct, designed for stability of the lattice and one's own Space get forgotten. The lattice evolves into a maze as fresh dimensions keep getting pulled in through one's Activity frame.
What is.....in the context of What was, never seems to have been meant to be.
Then again....What is...was always meant to be.

These SMS dialogues led to that realisation....

It took the collapse of the Domestic and Occupational frames, to lay the foundation for that realisation.
As Arun said, "It takes a couple of years out of Society to Realise and then....one comes back and is able to say that..Its so simple.
Nothing has changed yet...Everything has changed.

BOOST

Being Outspoken Overcomes Stifling Thoughts.
Being Overcome Only Suggests Temerity.
Becoming Otherwise Occupied Soothes Temporarily.
Believing Only One Simple Truth.....

Being Oneself Optimises Situational Tolerances.

BOOST...The secrets of my energy..
Yet another Try it opportunity

Space

Who you are is not the Who or What you are thought to be. That's just the view each holds from what they choose to see.Comprehension is biased by their wish frame.....what they hope you'll be, guided by their needs.
We each create and people our own universes. If our spaces intersect, one makes the most of it, or just grin and bear it. If they don't, then so be it. You then arebut an alien i my space. A non-entity.
Focus on i taking care of me wen making your choices on what you see. The comfort in your universe comes from putting I before You once you see. There'll be no alien invasions and interplanetary visitors to your universe then! And what people think of you in their galaxies matters not really!
Space for you....

Hope for the best

If Bay2 wants it badly enough, she'll do whatever it takes....And I think we can grant her the fact that she does know what it takes. If it isn't on her current list of priorities, then our wishing that it should be, in her best interests, is not really gonna make much difference. She must want it.
Moral: Ain't much we can do, but hope for the best.

Thoughts on Independence

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Man is free the moment he wishes to be.

Its Just this

Mera astitva kya hain.
Kya kissi pe nirbhar hain.
Kya mere angineeth ichhaye kafi hain
Ek mukaamhasil karne may.

Kya yeh zindagi,
aise hi betuke sawaalon may beet jayegi....aur
Meinraah dundta rehjayoonga.

Jo hai so hain.
Bas yeh hi ek atal sach hai.

Samjho aur jaano...
Its just this!...Bas.

Peace of mind

I think I can or, I think this may or will happen remain as a wish frame, with the possibilities of outcomes, refreshing the frame of doubts.
You can KNOW only when you let yourself experience. Experiencing is the knowledge. Whatever the outcome, Good, Bad or Ugly, you now Know what you can or can't do....And the whole doubting frame disappears.....Peace.

Grant me the serenity and grace to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things that I should.
And the wisdom to know the difference.

When I do...life's cool.

Impulse check!

Impulse check.....So what should one do now...Lets check out the options:
- cut my nails
- make and have a cup of kaapi
-edit "Conversations on Life" blog entries - to a book maybe?

Just do all...

The present

Just another hour of a day.
No fairy tale bewitching.
Just another moment lived.
Nothing worth remembering.
Just an ordinary day
that can claim to be....
the present of our lives!

Flights of fancy

You transport yourself to whitewater,
to escape the tides of mid-week banter
Aah.. Mindscapes holding promise
Built on a simple premise,
That if you think it....you can know it.
For our best perceived imagery,
Oft has it's roots in what we
perceive to be drudgery.

Moral: Bore yourself and experience not death but.....urges that take you on flights of fancy.

Free your mind

The body in torment is just a reflection of the state of your spirit.....your soul within. Make peace with yourself. Acknowledge what you can and cant do and... What you feel Can and Cant be done unto you and...start living as You. Not what others wish you to be.
And you'll then realise what its like to free your mind and let your spirit soar...
Another Try it item!

Illusion n Reality

A Jap poet once dreamt that he was a butterfly. And when he woke up, he wondered if he was now a butterfly dreaming it was a poet....

Can apply to aches and pains too.

That's me!

I guess I can claim to have lived life on my own terms. All the experiences that add up to it have left me ensconed in a comfort zone that always had me doing what I felt like. The world saw me as arrogant, stupid, a pain in the butt, a philanderer..amongst many other negatives. No regrets because life was..and still is..in the here and now.
Try it.

Tales of Sweety

Theres this lady I know called Sweety,
Rarely inclined to flights of fancy.
Oft she forgets then frets,
creating wholesome regrets,
N Sweety's then bitter n empty!

A moment

A cloudy noon..
The kind that croons a mellowness or..
invites choice epithets.
The perspectives of a state of mind.

A gentle breeze
Wafts over one.
Oh what a sensuous feel.

Ehsaas

Mann....ek zariya ehsaas ki paribhasha ko samajne kay liye.
Mann.....anek ichaye jinke paribhasha kabhi kabhi samaj kay paray lagti hain.
Ehsaas..... Bas, icchha purti!

The Whole Truth

We give of ourselves in the same measure as we perceive and experience to have received from others. Our inhibitions, apprehensions and desires are all rooted in this domain of give and take.
If one has felt denied, yhe responses can either be wariness of overt expression, where intent is always seen suspect OR, expansiveness, as a posture to cover the void felt.

A desired comfort zone is shaped by the give and take experiences and the intent perceived and attributed to them. Perception is based on our truths, which aren't always the whole truth!
The Whole truth becomes clear when you let yourself experience, without trying to control the experience in an attempt to guide it to a perceived ideal. What is meant to be...will be. What will be...was meant to be. And that is the Whole Truth.
To Be, he mind must shed what it thinks it knows and experience afresh, to know what was unknown.

Tu ab guru ban he ja.
Waise jo kaha, bahut sahi kaha. Lu

Just living a realisation.... And sharing one's learning. Ab uske liye toh kuch banney ki zaroorat toh nahin hain.
Seekhna...iccha anusar.....

A Plea

In the occupation that is life, unintended moments do intrude.
Most just vaporise under the glare of conscious thought. Some though, may touch a chord...Maybe even beg a response?

A moment

Communion comes so easy when thoughts play out in your mind. The memory of a moment, talks about all it held.
Takes a while till you realise that...here and now is there.

A high

A week. 3 floors above ground. Touched mother Earth twice in that span. First for 5 hours and then for 15 minutes, the last 5 days back. Lost to the world.
But opinions of my postures rattle...

A smile in a moment

In the stillness of a moment,
Cloaked in the fatigue of a fulfilled day,
Thoughts of other moments of togetherness
flit into this blissful domain.
And a fond smile reverberates.

Perception

Perception usually mirrors ones own world view of things, oft biased by the baggage from ones life.
It's difficult then to comprehend a baseless, no strings relationship between friends.


True. Friendship is a chemical bonding....unconditioned by the facts of life. Indeed many do not understand what causes this bond.


I get the feeling that you are in that group too....
If you feel the need to understand....Then you never will!

The duality of Awareness

Me - Duality is what provides the majority with a raison d'etre. The focus is on running the maze. The stimuli and response geared to creating ability to run another day.
Most who do find an exit only find themselves at the start of a labyrinth. And are oft resigned to do more of the same, albeit differently.
Of those who seek meaning, most just let themselves be herded through the maze on the survival prerogatives and responses of fellow travelers. With the mind, minding minds that mind the concept of the Mind. Seeing it as just an escape from the realisation that....It's Only This. And the seeker gradually realises that duality is the raison d'etre of the habitat.
Container and Contained in synergy!
The little steps of the mind that prepare one for the Mind, only serve to remind the mind that transiency, though understood, can be a permanent millstone. If you aren't aware of the Buddha, you are in a void. For those who need to kill the Buddha, to make the great leap forward, it is never about choice.
A curse and a boon - the duality of Awareness.
Aum.

A teaching cannot be regarded as complete unless it gives the practical method of reaching the ultimate goal.

....From the Foreword to a Zen text I've started reading

Reflection....on the road to Realisation

Me - The face.... A mirror of one's times.
Lines etched, reflecting worldly burdens....forever unrealised.
The Mind is on hold.
Borderline realisation taking it's toll.
And the visage...
A seeming mask,
spelling Apathy!
No salvation on the road to realisation.
Just an understanding that
Just understanding just ain't enough
To Be..
Take a look in the mirror and you'll see

Goodbyes

Goodbyes are just moments in time that are etched as milestones for recall. Painfully immediate yet joyously sweet to fall back on.
Missed out dint you! Ah well.....Life's swell!

What will be...will be

Me - I Am the environment I create. I Am the Environment I choose to dwell in. Just like all of life thus far. Iy will be when it is meant to be. So you just do what you gotta do. Simple!

Shitology

Arun - In DEEP SHIT. You wont find us in high spirits. Looking to you for moral support.
Me - All I've got is the philosophies on life I live by. SHIT happens. You have the choice of directing all your senses to reminding you of it's qualitative nature OR... Just grin and bear it, using the discomfort to focus on the pleasure of a good bath. Time always heals if you try not to be a Usain Bolt with it. When the going gets tough, the tough get going!

Monogamous infidelity

Monogamy in relationships is a deeply ingrained value. Though it has evolved beyond the strict confines of matrimonial fidelity,the expectancy is still of monogamous infidelity!

Free your mind

Mindscape: You don't turn me on.
Feelscape: Stop!! I'll get turned on....
Escape: When the Mind unshackles c0onstraints it now feels are no longer binding.
Free Your Mind.....

One morning in June

One morning, one morning,
One morning in June.
I watched a young gardener,
plying his wares.
Potted plants and creepers,
a few flowers here and there.
On a terrace where hope,
Oft withered to despair.

One morning, one morning,
one morning in June....
The buds they are planted
Maybe they'll bloom.
Or like the evergreens,
stand silently mute.
testimony to Nature,
unflinchingly resolute.

One morning, one morning,
One morning in June.
My thoughts wandered
on the wings of a view.
Chasing the words....
Following a tune....

Realising the lessons from failure

Me - Achievement is the Realisation of What you wanna be.
Realising What it takes, i.e. the necessary steps in the process to get there. Honestly assessing ones abilities and capabilities and realising your own strengths and weaknesses. And understanding what is required of you to optimise them, so you can make the most of the opportunities that lead you to who you wanna be while, keeping you aware of the threats to your goal.
Introspect to this as an online thot framework is the best lesson that failure delivers, if one chooses to learn it. This Realisation helps the development of a realistic and achievable world view, which does not have to resort to self pity and extraneous circumstances as the basis for understanding ones situation.

Reality check

You told me that you are very comfortable with who you are. That you were clear about your goals and how to get there. The Result is a reality check to see if re-evaluation is needed.
Always helps to tangibly address the WHY and How of Ehat you wanna be doing. Identify what is achievable and, the stuff thats in the wish frame. As you must now realise....just good intentions and a load of effort are not enough.
Factor in learning about your assessment of your input and the output reality it translated to. Apply that to your goals.
List What, Why, How and WHEN, to draw a road map. It begins and ends with you. And all the processes and people in between will be guided by your perceptions of the realities you choose to create.
So...make informed choices.

A man as an island

Me - All thats required for equanimity is the ability to let a moment happen to you and see your intent and actions guide the constituents of the moment to harmony for self... A man as an island. Battered now and then at the shores but, at peace at the core.
No wonder the "marooned on a desert island" fantasy is so appealing to all those pursuing a purpose in life!

Man can be an island

Good or bad is a value judgement. Subjective. Just like morality, of which good and bad is a much debated opinion rule.
I do believe that a man can be an island.....


You certainly enjoy a rare state of mind. Good or bad...immaterial I guess.


If you wanna be dressed in mourning...
Should I.
If you dont shed tears for fears...
Can I.
If you feel as you think...
No thought to paradigm shifts,
And altered perspectives...
May I!

Abstinence

A crude and stupid question I know, but the answer would plug a knowledge gap. So here goes:
In the mating game, the male is wired up with a near involuntary reflex that signals that the mate is on the radar, so go for it. Do the female of the species have something similar, as a sign of attraction. One reads about wetness but??? Sentiment, morality and values and, better control oft mask the fallout of basic instincts and serve to perpetuate my ignorance. Any chance of getting an education from you on this issue!

I guess you couldn't lay her lol. Well there's more to women than primal instincts.... Do the words like love, commitment, companionship ring a bell??

How perceptive!! And I thought the phraseology Of my message accounted for those facets in seeking knowledge if the physiological equivalent of priapism existed in women!

Well buddy! Wake up to reality.

Thats what I'm trying to do through garnering some objective, first hand knowledge.... Well trying to induce sharing of the same at least!

Morningside.....
A bit of me died
And filled a void that want begat.
And though I'm free
A tad sorrier and wiser.
For the life of me I can't understand,
How abstinence seems to come so easy!

Look at it as a new beginning, better late than never.
Never too late to be sensitised and be sensitive.....How about that???

And just how would all that sensitivity make my world a better place? We are not talking about the ability to forge new relationships. No interest there. Its about the evolution of the existing ones. They all seem to acquire a plateau or mesa like quality. Flatten out too soon. The lessons from life are learnt differently in the building of our comfort zones. Most peak n plateau easily, anchored in their world views. Facades erected as a surcival framework. Some still roam and climb on their own terms. Indulging impulse!

Her I am on this July morning,
Wonderin bout feelings and
all this heart and mind stuff.
The sights and sounds of a new day dawning
raise hope for
whats still left undone.

Thank you love. Wonder whats still undone? May I be of some help. Luuuuuv u and bless u.

For me to know and for you to see and know if you feel like the experience. If you do....then you can help.

Relationships

You have you perspective to us. Heres mine:
A relationship between the sexes always has shades of the mating game.The process of becoming friends and getting to know each otheris usually laced with an undercurrent of sexual desire. The culmination of the process of the mating game.The final demonstration of the mutuality of wavelength and trust. The couple then KNOWS each other, in the biblical sense of the term! If that does not fructify, the relationship loses a certain intensity as all the flirtation dies!

Philandering ....or so thot to be..

The vehemence of your reaction to a plain acknowledgment of a reality, that can suit a commitment phobic guy like me, frankly amazed me. To be aware of a degree of freedom does not necessarily imply exercise of thos freedoms 24x7. The 'bull in the china shop' days are over. Even mania highs are nice and manageable, within oneself.
What pained though was the underlying presumption that I was walking that road. I thought you knew me better than that. I've handled 3 and a half years of celibacy pretty well!

The Pains of Trust

Arun - What is More Painful ??
When a person whom you trusted hurts you,
OR
The person whom you hurt still trusts you!
Think about it!
Me - What is pain ? The undigested effluvium of ones expectations by ones intellect. The more senses one invests in a subject or object, the larger the potential for emotional bullshit.
If you trust somebody, you invest a host of senses totally. Hence in breach, its a swing to the other end of the pendulum.
I wouldn't hurt someone I cared for, consciously. So bearing with the pain of forgiveness is much easier seeing that one can always make it up.
In the former case its difficult to make up to yourself....Then again, it teaches you not to expect.


20:08
Me - Trust is basically taking many givens for granted. Situation and environment independent. Thyself gives as to myself. Even in a crunch, placing thy expectations before mine as thye given! The Trust deficit arises when I comes before you. The pain comes when others do unto you what you wouldn't do unto them. A lapse in your judgement.
When others continue to do unto you despite what you did to them, the residual that you live with is more shame that brings on a faux pain when it keeps reminding you of your pettiness. And you will always sheepishly overcompensate.

Learning

If you see your dreams as demons, then the Whys will keep chasing you. A restless and tormented mindset both shapes and, is shaped by that perspective to the Whys. The conditioning of the mind by the supposed lessons from one's experience - the basis of your value framework and desires - keeps ones perspective subjective and biased. What you see is very quickly projected as what you presume will be OR, the wish frame of what should be, based on the wants and desires in your perspectives, your current world view. That constitutes the Mind. What you have to shut down so that you can really feel and use the base intellect framework, that relies on ones basic instincts, to seek answers for the Whys. Thats learning!

20:44
What you know is based on the facts and perceptions garnered from ones experiences in life.
Feeling is the here and now sensory experience provided by ones instincts in response to ones environment.
Instincts - The inherent antennae that are focused on one survival and comfort in an environment. These basic instincts look out for you and action guided by them gives maximum joy.
The Mind operates with inputs from one's knowledge framework and often overrides the input from the feeling frame. The belief is that if you dont learn from the lessons of history, then one is condemned to relive history again.
One forgets that change is the only constant in life and the circumstances of one's history are not likely to be replicated thanks to the learning we garner. Which also embeds itself in the antennae framework of instinct. It is that learning which actsas a firewall to instinctive action. Mind overriding Feeling!
All this is a conscious attempt to open a window in your mind that facilitates the experience of feeling without the screening influence of thought. Revisiting the ISABS event!

.Whats going on!!

51 years and my life is still,
trying to get u that great big hill of Hope...
for a destination.
There are times when I lie in bed,
trying to get it all out,
whats in my head,
And I... I feel a little peculiar.
So I wake in the morning
and I step outside.
I take a deep breath
and I get realhigh
And I scream from the top of my lungs...
WHATS GOING ON!

And I tied. O my God did I try.
I tried all the time..
in these institutions.
And I hope
O my God do I Hope..
I Hope for change...
For Revolution.
As I say..
Hey, hey, hey..
WHATS GOING ON!!

A July afternoon

There she was on a July afternoon,
looking for luv.
She's been looking for it in the strangest places,
hardly a stone that she's left unturned.
Must have tried umpteen faces.
Not one was aware of the fire that burned...
In her heart...
In her mind..
In her soul....

And with the new day comes salvation...
The mind freeing the heart and soul to roam!

Ratting

Others opinions of you don't really matter. Yet theres a niggling curiosity, off and on, to know. The need to be well thought of, get approval for one's actions. Insecurity or vanity?
Stemming from a need to belong. And yet, we crave individuality as a strength!
It doesn't rally matter who wins in the rat race. In the end you are still a rat.
So be. Don't try to be!

Time

Time is a timeless commodity.....depending on how you treat the moments. If you attempt to control em..., activity and its attendant exhaustion, see it in deficit.
If you don't know what to do with em, time seems to suffocate you. Yet, if you just let life happen to you one just loses conception of time as a measure! Its a companion, one who moves with you, never becoming or raising an issue.

The Time of one's life...

Time is a timeless commodity.....depending on how you treat the moments. If you attempt to control em..., activity and its attendant exhaustion, see it in deficit.
If you don't know what to do with em, time seems to suffocate you. Yet, if you just let life happen to you, each moment is timeless. You just slip into em,with the flow. beginnings and ends crafted by impulse.
Consequences - just more moments in theflow of life. No issues. After all, time always heals.
So one can either have the yime of one's life OR... let it have you!!


Too heavy for my tiny brain. Give a missed call when you can talk...


Just be. Don't try to be- in simple terms I gyess its a csae for that. Call anytime. No issues.

Orgasmic fitness

If you wanna stay fit and healthy, have ORGASMS every day!

Oatmeal
Red wine
Greens
Antioxidants
Salads
Milk
Sugar free

WHAT YOU THOT IT MEANT...ALSO WORKS!

Is that your secret?


It can't be a secret if I'm sharingit with you! Its up to you now to keep it as your secret or... start leading an alternate healthy life!

Touch n Feel

Temptation
Often
Unleashes
Cherished
Hopes

Fears
Eventually
Eradicate
Libido

Shed FEELing and indulge in TOUCH!

small world?

I know that its a small world. The problem i that we're always taking the long and winding roads that never sem to get us to where we wanna be! So.. distance does matter.

A Zippo moment

Every time I light a cig,
a thot of you sneaks in quick.
The Zippo cradled in my palm,
The callous on my thumb from flicking the flint
till I get a light.
Frustration and Patience.
Perseverance and petulance,
Fondness and memories and...
A touch so soothing that,
One just lives wiyh the lack of sparking.
Thats my first Zippo and,
it does all of that!

Relationships...

Me - Are value judgement based stand-offs worth resolving.... More so when the lessons from history play out like a leaf from the Sun Tzu treatise! Or is it best to just walk away in the hopr that one less battle might make the war a bit more bearable today.
AAAAAh the vagaries of relationships tested on the nit pickin morality of righteousness.
Imputing intent to have the last word on things.
Character assassination to justify one's feelings.
The sordid one oneupmanship in relationships....That sweeps all the good that once existed...


2:50 PM
9th April 2007.... You told me "You should write about relationships". And I said I don't do reported speech very well. Thankfully! I still don't.
Helps avoid reruns in the head after the immediate fact!

Me - I know Who I Am, but I am told I am not that. You are This!
Nope!! I Am That......(funny huh!!!)

The engine of life

Me - One oft understands but is often not understood too. How important is it to be understood? And to what lengths does one go to be. That is the basic conundrum in relationships and the cause for chatter.
Concern is the starter impulse that cranks and ignites all the combustibles present in the engine of life in a given moment. Leads to some loud, idle revving and noxious exhausts. The ignition metamorphs concern to fuel anger.Till theres the choking and sputtering once the inflammatory material is exhausted.
Leads to a cleansing of sorts!

Rapprochement...

I can't say that I'm sorry that I cut you off. I don't deal with grays in my life. There are very few meaningful relationships in my life. Three to be precise. I can't afford any ambiguity in them, for my peace of mind.
When expectations surface, then something is off. Fundamental questions get asked and they can have painful consequences. We are part of those consequences. I wanted to remember you as you were. Unspoilt by the vagaries of our respective lives. Looks like time had something else in store...
Hi friend.

Its just this...

Me - I think the best part of my existence is, the ability to be doing nothing tangibly, and not notice that. To have no To-do list. To be location impervious. And be able, most times, to pick up the thread of that that one chooses to follow. To not be bothered about the members of ones responsibility frame, beyond provision of material support that one can/
Its just this!

Boosters

Me - Half past 7.
Soon a third will be heaven.
3 boosts to a stick,
as the day unfurls.
A liteness of being,
Sweet lethargy suffusing.
Moments strung along
Just doing what you're doing.

So come morning side.
No agendas bark or bite.
No dreams to chase,
No haste making waste.
Just thots seeded random
And impulse in gay abandon.
Up up and away,
Have a great day!
Arun - At such times I envy you.
Me - ....U gotta do, what you gotta do...
So just dew what you gotta dew!

"I Am"

Arun - I am that by which I know "I Am".
Read it now and at least ten times when you are stoned and then write back.
Me - Good suggestion. Laying my hands on a copy of the book is a minor issue tho! And about the cyclical reading.....I don't know. One either gets it or doesn't, reflecting and trying to understand.
Arun - I am not asking you to read this book. Just contemplate on this statement.
Me - Ooooops...My bad as Hollywood would put it.
After the Brazil - Portugal game and another boost!!

I am that, by which I know "I Am".
I am that - awareness and understanding of a facet. A piece in a jigsaw that falls in place at eash "I am that" moment or situation. And as the picture emerges intoa more recognisable image. I am that by which I kknow "I Am" takes on the hue of the process by which one gets to know that "I Am". I Am, that by which I know "I Am'. And the perception play starts.The image composite as the pieces of the jigsaw fall in place is tangible and theres a sense of completeness in getting the whole picture.If that evolves to the process then the image from the jigsaw is seen as justanother piece of a larger jigsaw. I am that, and now Im on the path to knowing that by which "I Am". Parts of a whole all right, but whats the whole? So is it that, or that by which one knows that, I AM.Where does the larger picture end! I Am that. Yes. I Am.

That I am, that by which I know, "I Am".
Reflect. Punctuate. And you get a new perspective. Still only words. Does the soul that I Am, express differently.
How many times have you read it and how many joints have you had? Out of 10 times, 5 should be without joint. You will get a still different perspective. Try it!!

Me - You had said "I am that by which I know "I Am".
Read it now and at least ten times when you are stoned and then write back." I was only folowing that instruction. Now you're changing the rules.
Arun - You should also reflect on--What is that, by which I know I Am.

Me - "What is that, by which I know I Am."
OK. Here goes:
If I think about it, the I walk the road trying to find out. In some moments or situations, theres a sense that I Am. Aloof, just an observer, though rarely focussed on oneself. Just calm, non-reactive, uninvolved. A detachment I oft term apathy. Thats an outcome of a whole host of other seeming constants like not feeling, caring, not wanting or desiring, that are facets of me that influence, what is that by which I think know "I Am".
No certainties, no illusions. So what is that by which I know..... Purely knowledge, experience and intellect I guess! Applied through the stream of reason in a framework that, Nature and Nurture evolved. I think I can draw an analogy to our conversational content.....Its like a yin-yang rubbing of a yin-yang space, thats smoothening the alignment of the conceptual interface!

Arun - OK, now next exercise. Which of the two statements you agree with and why:
1. I think, (therefore) I Am.
2. I Am (therefore), I think.
Me - First reaction was a good laugh......

Me - Is there a perspective difference between: I can think therefore, I Am and the statements without the element of choice. I think (therefore), I Am makes it a prerogative activity!

Another NCYEC moment

Me - Smoking on the terrace and on impulse decided to give the pots on the terrace a new aesthetic. Labored and sweated for an hour till I was finally satisfied. sat back then to savor the look. Suddenly realised that all that effort would not necessarily reflect to the casual observer. The layout was pretty much the same. Neater, cleaner. Only a close look would reveal the plant symmetry and placement associations. Hey! So people wont know what I did, but I enjoyed doing it. Another "Nothings changed, yet everythings changed" moment!